No More Drug Talk

I commented to my mother as I dropped her off this afternoon how wonderful it is that she no longer talks about her drugs. For many years, 90 percent of the time I spent conversing with her was about what drugs she's taking, how she needs more drugs, and when is she going to get the drugs. During the past year, this was often accompanied by hysteria when her drugs did not appear at precisely the right time. Even a few minutes late would send her into a tirade of frenetic behavior that I found absolutely crazy-making, like watching a heroin addict or someone who, if she had a gun in her hand, would blast everyone in sight.

For some reason, she no longer mentions her drugs. What is responsible for this shift, I do not know, but I am very grateful. I truly hated to spend time with her when she was obsessed with her narcotics. I knew that she cared nothing about what I or anyone else was saying, that she was 100 percent focused on the drugs. And it was so incredibly stressful to be with someone who was so revved up, "hyper" or "anxious" not even approaching what was her mental status.

So I praised her today for her shift, whatever its cause. And I say a prayer that her calm, her willingness to participate, and her genuineness continue to manifest. If this shift is permanent, she and I may just be able to have a relationship. Wouldn't that be something!