Another Perspective on Organ Donation

I saw Rick on Wednesday for lunch. I really like Rick because, well, he's a real guy, and I don't encounter too many real guys here in So Cal. Most of the men are metrosexual, a bit sissy, perhaps a bit too orderly or interested in decorating or into their clothes or junior-high-school-girlish about blood or dirt or moving some muscles.

Rick sure isn't metrosexual, and I really like that. He was a mechanic for Formula One race cars when he was young, then he became a licensed plumber. In the past few years, he got his general contractor's license and has taken all the coursework to get his real estate license. Basically, he knows how to fix most everything, and because he's a smart guy, he knows how to run his business, deal with all kinds of people, and manage his workers. He's funny and earthy and nicely built.

Rick and I met on match.com maybe three years ago. I feel I have been open to more than a friendship, touching him, rubbing his thighs, even giving him an hour-and-a-half, full-body massage, but he never made any moves. We've had a few kisses, but they've been very tame. There have been long gaps in which we didn't see each other, and during these times, he had relationships with other gals, and I had a few, a very few, one-time things with one or two men. But we were always excited to hear from each other.

I struggled a bit with how much to tell Rick about my health. Since we weren't intimate, I figured I didn't have to tell him anything. Then last November he called my cell phone when I was in the hospital. Figuring he could hear the hospital sounds, I told him I was recovering from triple-bypass surgery, brought on by insulin-dependent diabetes and that I wore an insulin pump. I figured that was plenty for him to assimilate without mentioning the dialysis too.

Rick was fine with my news, though I'm sure that, like most people, he didn't grasp what it all meant. How could he! Except for a few broken bones or sprains, he's been healthy and vigorous all his life.

But this Wednesday we met in person, for the first time since the Belmont Shore Christmas Parade and an after-parade party in December of 2008, just before I had the dialysis catheter surgically implanted in my abdomen.

So over gyros at the local Greek deli, I told Rick that I had been on dialysis since February of 2009. He seemed to take it well, though he didn't ask any questions and I didn't provide many details.

Rick did offer another perspective on organ donation that I had never considered. He said something like this: "Here you have all these crazy people who rape and murder and do all sorts of awful things. We put them on death row and we feed them and give them a place to live for years and years. They're of no use to society at all. If I were in charge, we'd take those bastards and give them a trial, sentence them to death, have a doctor examine them to see who could use their organs, and then bye-bye, fella, you're out of here. Next.

"When there's a sweetheart of a girl like you who's dying for a kidney, and we've got these bastards on death row taking up space, it's just not right."

Rick figured this would solve the organ-donation problem. But I don't know about that, Rick. Since 1976, we have executed 1,200 prisoners in this country. In 2009, the number was 52, and so far this year, it's 12. That's a small dent in the 100,000 people who are currently awaiting an organ. Of course, perhaps Rick would like to see a whole lot more people given the death penalty.