I spoke with Cindy, the young woman in Phoenix who is interested in donating a kidney. She sent her initial paperwork to UCLA and received a call from Jen, one of the transplant coordinators, the next day, so things are moving in the right direction.
Jen is concerned that Cindy is only 26, and the minimum age for living donors, at least at UCLA, is 25. Since Cindy is so young, she has not established medical history as has someone who is older than her, i.e., very little has gone awry in her physical makeup. Therefore, UCLA has to look at her family's medical history rather than concentrating on her own. Since her mother and brother both have hypertension, she is more likely to develop hypertension in the future than someone her age with no family history of hypertension.
Because of her age, her friend-of-a-friend connection with me, and her family history of hypertension, her case must go before a panel that meets tomorrow. Cindy told me that they should have a decision before the week's end and that Jen has promised her a call by this Friday.
Jen also suggested that Cindy talk with her brother, who received a kidney from their sister 15 years ago. Fifteen years is the average life span of a living-donor kidney, and though the brother is doing well now, he may need another kidney in the future. Jen wondered if Cindy would rather wait in the wings for her brother's need to manifest than give her kidney to a stranger. For some reason, I hadn't thought of this before Cindy mentioned it, but I can certainly understand how that would be a big concern for her.
So as of this writing, I am thankful that things are progressing in the right direction, but as is my m.o. with everything that is possible in this life, it is best not to be attached to a particular outcome. I sure hope Cindy is able and willing to donate to me, but if the panel rules against her or if her brother wants her to save her kidney for him, I will avoid debilitating disappointment and discouragement by not being too wedded to these outcomes. In fact, I spend very little thought time with possible outcomes. I am clear about what I want, but then I let go of the thought and let the universe work its magic.
As I told Cindy during our last phone conversation, I am so thankful for her stepping forward. Just the fact that she has done that, that she sincerly wants to donate to me, is a great gift. To think that a stranger would want to save my life--that is truly remarkable. If that does not happen for one reason or another, that in itself is still such a wonderful thing, that a stranger would feel compassion for me and want to help. Wow!
Monday, September 20, 2010
What a Joy to See Gerald Locklin Again!
About 30 years ago, I was a student in Gerald Locklin's poetry-writing class at Cal State Long Beach. He encouraged me to attend readings throughout Southern California and to never give up writing. He and I read together at many venues, including the Anti-Club and Club Fuck with Dave Alvin of the Blasters.
Never giving up writing has often meant attempting to earn a living as a journalist and an editor, not as a poet and short-story writer, but I have always continued to write.
Years ago Aaron first told me that he sometimes saw Ger at It's a Grind Coffeehouse near his dad's house. Each time Aaron told me this, I asked him to please give Ger my number the next time he saw him.
Then on Saturday morning, I mentioned over breakfast that it would sure be nice to see Gerry again. A few hours later, I checked my email and saw an invitation from Open Bookstore a few blocks away for a poetry reading Gerald Locklin would be giving that night. What synchronicity!
I dressed up and went over. Gerry recognized me immediately and we spoke a little bit before and after his reading. I laughed harder than anyone else at his funny, earthy poems and beamed to beat the sun at his poems that offered insights into classical works of art. Ger runs the gamut.
I told Ger how much it had meant to me, all these many years ago, when my then-husband and I had attended one of his readings in Echo Park. When he saw me in the audience, he introduced me, giving up some of his time so that I could read. I told him that just thinking of the kindness and encouragement he showed me in this simple act gets me choked up. One of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.
His most recent book, "Modest Aspirations," is a collaboration between him and short-story writer Beth Wilson of Oklahoma. Back in the early '90s, Gerry had taught a class at the University of Oklahoma, and Beth had gone up to him and said she wanted to be a writer and that she wanted him to tell her everything she needed to know. This assertiveness impressed Gerry, and so they stayed in touch, primarily via email, him attempting to help her as much as possible.
I was touched by this beautiful story, but also a bit ashamed. Gerry had believed in me as a poet, and I might have been his first Beth Wilson, but I put poetry on the back burner. Of course, I've continued to write poetry, and I've got a collection of 20 short stories that I'd love to see published, but I have not made a full-out effort to see my work in book form.
Yesterday I emailed Gerry, telling him that I sure would appreciate him pointing me in the right direction. I wrote that my creative life seems to echo my love life: "I look at my work, and I know it's very good and that I have a distinctive voice, but it does not attract the attention of people who are in the position to publish it, just as I take inventory of myself as a woman and behold an intelligent, sexy, good-looking, trim, playful, fun-loving, humorous, generous, loving gal, but that somehow is not what men are looking for."
I sent him three short stories and asked for his advice as to where to send them. I really would love for my work to get out into the world, to touch more people than it has been able to do thus far. I would really like to see that in the time I have left. Perhaps Ger will respond, but I told him that if he is not so inclined to please put me on his email list because I'd love to see him perform again. What a treat!
Never giving up writing has often meant attempting to earn a living as a journalist and an editor, not as a poet and short-story writer, but I have always continued to write.
Years ago Aaron first told me that he sometimes saw Ger at It's a Grind Coffeehouse near his dad's house. Each time Aaron told me this, I asked him to please give Ger my number the next time he saw him.
Then on Saturday morning, I mentioned over breakfast that it would sure be nice to see Gerry again. A few hours later, I checked my email and saw an invitation from Open Bookstore a few blocks away for a poetry reading Gerald Locklin would be giving that night. What synchronicity!
I dressed up and went over. Gerry recognized me immediately and we spoke a little bit before and after his reading. I laughed harder than anyone else at his funny, earthy poems and beamed to beat the sun at his poems that offered insights into classical works of art. Ger runs the gamut.
I told Ger how much it had meant to me, all these many years ago, when my then-husband and I had attended one of his readings in Echo Park. When he saw me in the audience, he introduced me, giving up some of his time so that I could read. I told him that just thinking of the kindness and encouragement he showed me in this simple act gets me choked up. One of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.
His most recent book, "Modest Aspirations," is a collaboration between him and short-story writer Beth Wilson of Oklahoma. Back in the early '90s, Gerry had taught a class at the University of Oklahoma, and Beth had gone up to him and said she wanted to be a writer and that she wanted him to tell her everything she needed to know. This assertiveness impressed Gerry, and so they stayed in touch, primarily via email, him attempting to help her as much as possible.
I was touched by this beautiful story, but also a bit ashamed. Gerry had believed in me as a poet, and I might have been his first Beth Wilson, but I put poetry on the back burner. Of course, I've continued to write poetry, and I've got a collection of 20 short stories that I'd love to see published, but I have not made a full-out effort to see my work in book form.
Yesterday I emailed Gerry, telling him that I sure would appreciate him pointing me in the right direction. I wrote that my creative life seems to echo my love life: "I look at my work, and I know it's very good and that I have a distinctive voice, but it does not attract the attention of people who are in the position to publish it, just as I take inventory of myself as a woman and behold an intelligent, sexy, good-looking, trim, playful, fun-loving, humorous, generous, loving gal, but that somehow is not what men are looking for."
I sent him three short stories and asked for his advice as to where to send them. I really would love for my work to get out into the world, to touch more people than it has been able to do thus far. I would really like to see that in the time I have left. Perhaps Ger will respond, but I told him that if he is not so inclined to please put me on his email list because I'd love to see him perform again. What a treat!
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