Thursday, December 03, 2009

So Tired of Feeling Lousy

It's now been more than two weeks since surgery, and I still feel lousy. I am so incredibly tired of this. I have a few hours or a half day of feeling OK once in a while, and then I'm back to utter exhaustion. Those of you who have called have commented on how good I sound. Hmmm...well, folks, projecting a positive attitude and a stiff upper lip has been my m.o. since age 13 when I was diagnosed with diabetes. I always aim to give the world a smiling face, in part because it helps me feel better too.

This has been the most difficult two weeks of my life from a physical standpoint. And now I'm entering Week 3. Just typing this makes my arms feel like they're holding 20-pound weights. My bones ache, back and neck pain wakes me up at night, my legs are still swollen and drum-tight, my belly remains distended, my feet are tingly and numb. I'm bruised and scarred. I am still haunted by nausea and dizziness. I'm severely anemic (7.8 hemoglobin, when 12 is the low end of normal), which means I'm very tired and cold. Last night I wore flannel PJs and a winter coat to bed and covered up with flannel sheets, two quilts, and a sleeping bag. I feel as if my system is continuing to be assaulted by the anesthesia, pain meds, and other drugs I've been subjected to. Everything is sluggish and uncomfortable. I'm 15 pounds over my pre-surgery weight. Frequently I'm out of breath after doing simple things.

I've heard of people feeling so much better after bypass surgery. I am so looking forward to at least feeling as well as I was prior to surgery.

Again, I am so appreciative of all who have been there for me, including Bev, who yesterday gave me a much-needed 2 1/2-hour massage.

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About Me

Southern California, United States
Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.

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