Just returned from the grocery store, where I stood behind a man who complimented me on a purple and lavendar scarf a massage client had knit for me. He was in his late 40s, decent-looking, and seemed to be a tradesman of some sort. He said the scarf was "beautiful" and that his wife had some flowers that reminded him of it.
The interchange was so sincere and kind that I couldn't help but think, "Wow, it sure would be nice to have a man like that in my life. A sweetie who would say nice things to me now and again. What must that be like?"
For the most part, I do a damn good job of forgetting that this huge part of my life is missing, but once in a while, like this afternoon in the checkout line, it creeps in and I wonder, "Will I ever know what a good relationship is? Will I ever have that experience of love, tenderness, and companionship in this life?"
Mystical experiences, yearnings, politics, little dramas, poetry, kidney dialysis, insulin-dependent diabetes, and opportunities for gratitude.
Monday, October 04, 2010
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About Me
- Heidi's heart
- Southern California, United States
- Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.
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