More Kindness

During peritoneal dialysis (PD) training last week, I was a bit distraught because my stomach had swelled on account of surgery and I couldn't zip up any of my skirts. I quite literally had nothing to wear except an elastic-waist black velvet skirt.

I moaned about this state of affairs to Marlene, the PD social worker, and Gina, the dietician. The next day, Marlene called me into her office to show me a half dozen skirts she had weened from her closet. She had gone through her things and picked out six very nice skirts for me--one wool, the others non-clingy polyesters that didn't reveal the lines of my tubing. They were beautiful! I tried them on, and all but one looked wonderful.

Gina later pulled me aside and gave me a black skirt.

I was so touched by the generosity of these two women.

Though my stomach swelling has subsided and though I have lost a lot of water weight, much of the clothes in my closet fits tightly and so the outlines of the tubing and transfer set show through. These six skirts helped me feel pretty again and increased my confidence. Such a blessing!

Thank You, Doctors

I took this photo in late June 2006 on my month-long solo camping trip up the coast and then inland to friend Araia's place in northeastern Washington state. I had gone berry picking with her friends. Afterward I took a walk through the orchard and felt as if I had entered a magical world of dappled light.

More than any lab test or clinical marker, this photo reveals the current state of my health.

It is as if I have been walking in a dark woods for a decade, struggling with one obstacle after another, and then all of a sudden, sunlight breaks through the branches and another, incredibly lovely world appears.

The path ahead is indistinct, but infused with a delicious magic, like the rain-soaked tree I beheld this afternoon--thousands of drops twinkling in a shaft of light, like Indra's net.

I have sent this message, via a handmade card with this photo, to my nephrologist, Dr. Michael Butman, closing with "Thank you so very much for all that you have done to make this opening possible. I am deeply grateful." And I will do the same for my cardiologist, Dr. Michael Phan. Both these men have shown great kindness and concern, and have spent extra time talking to me during office visits about my misgivings. When people bad-mouth Kaiser Permanente, they obviously have not experienced the quality care that these physicians have given me.