More Pleasures

Here are some more pleasures in my life. As these are also things I'm thankful for, this can also be seen as a gratitude list, incomplete, of course. A work in progress.

* sunshine, definitely sunshine
* a smile from a stranger
* black velvet gloves that feel so good and keep my hands warm
* fresh flowers--what a treat!
* blueberries
* mangoes
* a sweet, juicy orange
* good writing
* National Public Radio
* holding a pillow against my chest as if it were my lover
* rubbing my legs against flannel sheets
* a meal with The Son
* a hug from The Son
* watching "The Wire" with The Son (We've rented the entire four seasons of episodes from Netflix.)
* gazing upon my cacti collection on my back porch
* acupuncture appointments, especially the acupressure massage Dr. Mai gives me after he removes the needles
* birdsong
* being able to walk, climb stairs, do housework, and get dressed without panting, without having cardiac symptoms--the pleasure of doing simple things effortlessly

The Pleasure of a Cup of Tea

Even as I wrote my last post, I knew that taking a shower is hardly my only pleasure. Not by a long shot.

Right now, I'm indulging in one of my favorite things: a cup of tea, preferably Earl Grey or English breakfast. This is the latter.

It's not just the tea itself, it's the sensual pleasure of holding the cup, the heat from which warms my often-chilly hands. It's also the tent I make with my hands over the cup. I then breathe into the tea and create a mini-sauna. Ah!

All this warmth makes me feel loved. It's a cozy feeling, a deep comfort, like I'm sure it must be to share a quilt with a lover, snuggling and rubbing tootsies and noses together. I've never had this experience, but I'm sure it must be wonderful. Placing a hot cup of tea against my cheek must be something like this cozy, homey, smiling-on-a-rainy day sort of love. Until that fairy tale comes true, a good cup of tea gives me the sensation of that tender sweetness.

My First Shower in Almost Three Weeks! Yippee

Yesterday, John, my PD training nurse, gave me the go-ahead to take a shower--my first since my surgery on Jan. 30.

In the weeks since surgery, I have washed my hair while kneeling before the bath tub or dunking my head with water poured from a cooking pot over the bathroom sink. Then I've sponge-bathed the rest of my body. This has been quite time-consuming, and I have had to allow for an hour and a half to shampoo, bathe, dress, and do all the tasks associated with dialysis clean-up and record-keeping each morning. Now, thank goodness, with a shower, I'll cut some of that time and effort.

But much more than the saved time and the increased convenience of a shower is the pleasure of the experience.

Taking a shower is one of the few sensual pleasures that is left to me.

* I don't smoke, take illegal drugs, or drink alcohol.

* My diet is restricted: I must avoid sweets, processed foods, dairy products, nuts, colas, and certain fruits and vegetables.

* Now that I'm on dialysis, travel is not completely impossible, but it will certainly no longer be spontaneous. (The supply company must be informed two months in advance of a domestic trip and at least three months in advance of an overseas trip, so that supplies can be delivered to my destination. And then there's all the surgical masks, cleaning supplies, towelettes, bleached towels, clamps, and other paraphenalia that I must pack. And beyond that, I have to be fairly certain that I'm conducting dialysis in a mold-free, clean space.)

* Intimacy, romance, companionship, and love seem even farther away than they have been during the rest of my life. I'm not even sure how a man would get physically close to me with all the tubing, tape, transfer set, and insulin pump that is around my mid-section.

So, taking a shower is one of the joys that is afforded me. I am so thankful to have a daily, hot shower back in my life!