Emotional Release

A few times since surgery, I have been close to tears, but critical mass was not reached and no tears fell. Yesterday morning while putzing around the apartment, medieval carols playing on the boom box, I suddenly was overcome with emotion. What emotion it was, I can't really say. It certainly wasn't sadness, but I can't say it was joy either. It was as if a backlog of all sorts of feelings came rushing forth in physical form without accompanying emotion.

The sensation was so powerful that, weeping, I dropped to my knees in front of the Christmas tree, which was already lit up. As tears streamed down my face, I said my thanks aloud for how very fortunate I am to have received a kidney. Most people are dead before they reach five years on dialysis, and I was just shy of two years before I received one. The vast majority of people die before a kidney is offered.

I know how fortunate I am to have had so many people pulling for me. Even if you don't believe in God or some universal force, you have to realize that maybe a hundred people concentrating their thoughts, their energy, and their visualizations on my healing is powerful. The concentrated intention of one person is a force to reckon with, but if you multiply that a hundredfold, you've got something unstoppable. I am so grateful for this assistance.

After about five minutes of weeping, I got up and resumed my putzing. That release was cleansing and complete. No need to dwell on it or overanalyze it. It simply was for five minutes, and then it was gone without leaving any residue.