The Role of Denial in Obesity

In yesterday's post, I related the story of an overweight former co-worker. Like an alcoholic before he hits bottom and goes to his first AA meeting, overweight people are so often in denial, not that they have a problem, but that the problem is of their own making. They blame their condition on genetics, lack of time to cook right, or, like this former co-worker, on the struggle she's waged all her life against weight, to no avail. And yet, it's a struggle for me to see the struggle, as any opportunity to indulge in a sweet is never passed up. There doesn't seem to be a struggle at all, just an easy saying "yes" to desserts.

I recall another insightful incident that occurred almost 30 years ago, long before obesity was a matter of public discourse. I was a philosophy student at the time, and an overweight classmate of mine was often telling me how she ate nothing but salads. I found this hard to believe, but I had nothing but her word to go by until the day she gave me a ride home from campus. I glanced in her back seat and saw that it was littered with hundreds of burger wrappers, french fry bags, and empty malted milk containers. Burger King appeared to be the fast-food joint of choice. Rarely does one see such a classic example of denial, someone literally tossing one's garbage behind oneself, out of sight, supposedly out of mind. I realized that the litter in the back seat was something she could not face, and so it might pile up until her husband cleaned it out or paid someone else to do it. But I knew, looking at it, that she would not be able to do it herself. This would bring her face to face with her self-deception, and that confrontation would rock her foundation, the story she had told the world and herself about herself.

Just like in AA, when the recovering alcoholic has to take personal responsibility for his actions, the problem of obesity requires that every overweight person admit that he or she is responsible for the excess pounds. It isn't society's fault or their parents' or their spouse's or their children's fault. It isn't because they were somehow born with a black mark on their foreheads that relegates them to a life of obesity. They have the power to change their lives. But first they must abandon denial and take a good, honest look at themselves. Without such an approach, there will be no lasting change.