During my recent trip to France, I was questioned, patted down, and searched every time I went through airport security in Los Angeles, Newark, Halifax, Montreal, and Paris. My luggage was opened and thoroughly examined, and my dialysis machine was dusted for drugs. I got so incredibly tired of going into a back room with two butch gals and having to pull up my shirt and pull down my pants so that they could gawk at my dialysis tubing and insulin pump.
Finally, in Halifax, I said something like this to two security gals: "I would almost be OK with this invasion of privacy if the whole terrorist bullshit was real. But it's all made up. The U.S. government was behind 9/11 so that it could control people like this." Without skipping a beat, the more senior of the two said that though that may be true, it has given her and a lot of other people jobs.
Oh, my gawd! Is that what it's really all about! Three wars, tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of lives lost, millions of people maimed or disturbed for life, millions of others grieving or destitute, the wholesale trashing of the Constitution and of truth, the further tightening of the police state, the incarceration of thousands without charge and without trial, the torture of countless others, the waste of $3 trillion--but, hey, I've got a job.
I said nothing in reply. This woman is living on another planet and in a different dimension. We do not have the necessary touchdown points to discuss this matter.
When I told a sympathetic someone about this incident, he said I was lucky, that I could have been whisked away and never heard from again. He's right. I'm sure that would have happened had I said this in the "land of the free" rather than in Canada.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
9/11 Deja Vu
The mainstream media are now saying that most of the 3.5-5 million gallons of BP-spilled oil has evaporated. When I heard that on the top of the hour today, I thought, "What! Do they really think we're that stupid!" But of course they do--the American public bought the official 9/11 story hook, line, and sinker, even though it, too, defies physics and logic. (And in the case of 9/11, the logistical capability of Al-Qaeda. The media are now saying that Al-Qaeda has "scaled down" its operations since 9/11, only choosing to do much more modest suicide bombings. Oh my gawd! The reason why they're doing small potatoes jobs is because that's all they've ever been capable of doing!)
But back to the BP oil. BP used dispersants, how much dispersants is not known, to break up the oil. Dispersants are not without their side effects, as wildlife and human swimmers and clean-up personnel have been experiencing internal hemorraging. But of course the government says there's no health problems associated with the oil spill, just like the government said the area around Ground Zero posed no health problems for residents and first responders. But now we know differently. Firefighters, cops, volunteers, and residents of NYC are suffering horrific respiratory problems from breathing in the air following the collapse of three huge buildings. (Yes, folks, remember to count Building 7 of the World Trade Center complex, the one the government doesn't want to talk about because it too pancaked though it was not hit by a plane. Hmmmm...interesting, but not interesting enough for any mainstream journalist to investigate.)
And, folks, oil does not spontaneously evaporate from the ocean. C'mon! Yes, gasoline spilled on a sidewalk will evaporate, but that's not what we're talking about here. Crude oil is so much heavier and more viscous than gasoline. And much of it was below the surface, and things don't evaporate if they're below the surface!
Another government-media lie. They just keep them coming.
Here's another: that the 92,000 or so secret documents leaked to wikileaks and then presented to the New York Times, the Guardian, and der Spiegel put American soldiers in danger and jeopardize national security. Let's take the last one first. Whenever the government is caught with its pants down, it cries national security. It's like a criminal saying that putting him on trial would endanger society. It's the government, after all, that is shown to be guilty of war crimes in these documents. And the reporters who printed stories about some of the documents did so without revealing the names of those who are still in the field.
The young man who leaked the documents, Pfc. Bradley Manning, is being held in a Kuwait prison and is facing up to 52 years for exposing the truth. Obama the candidate said he would make things easier for whistleblowers, that they should not be treated like criminals but like heroes. But Obama the president is singing a much different tune because now he's the one at the helm, responsible for the war crimes that are currently underway in Afghanistan and Iraq.
I have sent a donation to Manning's defense fund, and I urge you to do the same. I have also written him a letter, thanking him for his bravery. The sad thing to me is that in this country we are not hearing about the war crimes. Instead, journalists just keep repeating the government's line that this has endangered national security. The so-called land of the free is so tightly controlled. You'll just have to get your news by reading the Guardian or der Spiegel.
But back to the BP oil. BP used dispersants, how much dispersants is not known, to break up the oil. Dispersants are not without their side effects, as wildlife and human swimmers and clean-up personnel have been experiencing internal hemorraging. But of course the government says there's no health problems associated with the oil spill, just like the government said the area around Ground Zero posed no health problems for residents and first responders. But now we know differently. Firefighters, cops, volunteers, and residents of NYC are suffering horrific respiratory problems from breathing in the air following the collapse of three huge buildings. (Yes, folks, remember to count Building 7 of the World Trade Center complex, the one the government doesn't want to talk about because it too pancaked though it was not hit by a plane. Hmmmm...interesting, but not interesting enough for any mainstream journalist to investigate.)
And, folks, oil does not spontaneously evaporate from the ocean. C'mon! Yes, gasoline spilled on a sidewalk will evaporate, but that's not what we're talking about here. Crude oil is so much heavier and more viscous than gasoline. And much of it was below the surface, and things don't evaporate if they're below the surface!
Another government-media lie. They just keep them coming.
Here's another: that the 92,000 or so secret documents leaked to wikileaks and then presented to the New York Times, the Guardian, and der Spiegel put American soldiers in danger and jeopardize national security. Let's take the last one first. Whenever the government is caught with its pants down, it cries national security. It's like a criminal saying that putting him on trial would endanger society. It's the government, after all, that is shown to be guilty of war crimes in these documents. And the reporters who printed stories about some of the documents did so without revealing the names of those who are still in the field.
The young man who leaked the documents, Pfc. Bradley Manning, is being held in a Kuwait prison and is facing up to 52 years for exposing the truth. Obama the candidate said he would make things easier for whistleblowers, that they should not be treated like criminals but like heroes. But Obama the president is singing a much different tune because now he's the one at the helm, responsible for the war crimes that are currently underway in Afghanistan and Iraq.
I have sent a donation to Manning's defense fund, and I urge you to do the same. I have also written him a letter, thanking him for his bravery. The sad thing to me is that in this country we are not hearing about the war crimes. Instead, journalists just keep repeating the government's line that this has endangered national security. The so-called land of the free is so tightly controlled. You'll just have to get your news by reading the Guardian or der Spiegel.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Getting Things Done
I bought a three-bedroom, 1 3/4 bath ranch house in Yucca Valley in November 2004, just before the housing market went south. Fortunately, I did not pay top dollar, so the value has only gone down about $13K. It took me until June of 2005 to get it ready for a tenant. At the time I evicted her a year later, she was behind six months' rent, plus she left a mess that took more than $1,000 to clean up. And she left all the faucets running for the last month she was in the place, so I was socked with a $500 water bill! But the tenants I have in there now are great.
My first loan payment was in January of 2005, so that means I paid off the loan in just 5 1/2 years. The "personal banker" at B of A said that in six years with the bank, he has only seen two other pay-offs. That sure says something about Americans and their debt.
Add to my very unusual pay-off a credit score of 801 and no credit card or other debt, and you'd think lenders would be fighting over me. But even someone like me can't get a new loan. My income is too low.
I am so happy I no longer have to deal with Bank of America, the evil beast, one of the big robbers of the U.S. Treasury in the bankers' bailout. My loan was originally with some small company that sold it to Countrywide, and then when Countrywide went belly up, B of A took over.
I'm hoping that this roll of accomplishments will continue. There are a lot of things I would love to see finished and done with. On the top of that list put dialysis!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Question to the U.S. Military: Would You Shoot Americans?
A number of loose ends have come together in my consciousness in the last several hours. Obesity. Poor education. The pharmaceutical industry. TV. Internet. Sports teams. Illegal aliens. The Second Amendment. UN troops on American soil. Prison camps. The granting of U.S. citizenship to illegals if they serve in the military. Substance abuse. Seemingly unrelated subjects, but I'm beginning to see a plan.
First off, let me state that I have never been a gun owner. I have always felt that guns caused more problems than they solved. But I am also a person whose mind is open to new ideas, who enjoys the process of new information coming in and old ideas going out.
The government is afraid of its citizens, primarily because we're armed. In an ideal world, it would be because we were fit, well-informed, assertive, and holding our government accountable, but that unfortunately is not the case. Fast food, obesity, drug and alcohol abuse, passive lifestyles, a dearth of credible news sources, obsession with sports teams and other distractions, and debt and its ensuing stress have made the vast majority of Americans feeble shadows of the proud nation of doers and dreamers they were 60 or more years ago.
The government knows that it does not have enough troops to police the entire country, especially as we're fighting wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan, and have more than 170 bases around the world. So the government and corporate media are doing whatever they can to portray gun owners and Second Amendment advocates as dangerous and crazy.
Add to this mix the news I received from a friend whose brother was the captain of a ship in the U.S. Navy and is still working as a Navy consultant. The brother said that a few years back, military personnel were posed with the question: Would you fire upon American citizens if ordered to do so? Eighty percent said "no." First off, why was the government asking this question unless it has plans to do so. And, two, don't breathe easy because 80 percent said they wouldn't. That, in my mind, is why illegals are now granted citizenship after serving in the U.S. military. The government needs to get as many people in its military who have no connection with U.S. history or any kind of feeling for what it means to be an American. I seriously doubt if many recent immigrants, legal or illegal, have a dewdrop in their eyes when they think of Thomas Jefferson or Lewis and Clark. And governments know that soldiers do not want to fire upon their countrymen. Remember Tian an Men Square? The soldiers who mowed down student protesters were not from Beijing. The Chinese government called in troops from distant provinces to do the dirty work. So what's to say foreign-born troops aren't being trained to fire on Americans in the event of social unrest?
Also recall that we are now using more military contractors (aka mercenaries) in Iraq than we are U.S. troops, that the infamous Blackwater, now known as Xe, was used in New Orleans to "police" the populace after Katrina, and that several U.S. cities have already contracted with Blackwater to control citizens in the event of civil unrest. And remember what Blackwater has done in Iraq, shooting civilians for no reason other than it felt good. Also that Blackwater is comprised of work-for-hire gunman from war-torn, impoverished countries in Africa and eastern Europe, people who could care less if they killed Americans.
Of course, there are also other means that could be used: predator drones and UN troops, some of which have been training on U.S. soil. Wouldn't it be ironic if the Americans who didn't give a hoot about the civilians we are murdering with drones in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan--saying that it saves the lives of American troops--would be murdered by drones that are piloted by American troops?
To add still another layer to this evil, more and more is being written about how this economic disaster has been orchestrated, that it was intentional, in order to destroy the American system and issue in a new currency. In fact, the $3 trillion wars we're currently fighting are a fantastic means to bring about our ruin. Bringing down the U.S. is one of the last agenda items in the march toward one world government.
These bastards are so ingenious, getting taxpayers to fund their own enslavement and annhilation. Brilliant!
I'm not rushing out to buy a gun, but I certainly can understand why people are doing so. The government is not to be trusted, I've known that since the mid-1980s, when I began to look into CIA"s cocaine-gun running.
The most important thing is to be informed but not afraid. Fear is what the powers that be want. Fear means control, and I will not be controlled. Now is the time to understand the evil that is at the core of business and government but to keep one's own house in order, delighting in the beauty that surrounds you in every moment and knowing that you are far more than the little body you are currently inhabiting.
First off, let me state that I have never been a gun owner. I have always felt that guns caused more problems than they solved. But I am also a person whose mind is open to new ideas, who enjoys the process of new information coming in and old ideas going out.
The government is afraid of its citizens, primarily because we're armed. In an ideal world, it would be because we were fit, well-informed, assertive, and holding our government accountable, but that unfortunately is not the case. Fast food, obesity, drug and alcohol abuse, passive lifestyles, a dearth of credible news sources, obsession with sports teams and other distractions, and debt and its ensuing stress have made the vast majority of Americans feeble shadows of the proud nation of doers and dreamers they were 60 or more years ago.
The government knows that it does not have enough troops to police the entire country, especially as we're fighting wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan, and have more than 170 bases around the world. So the government and corporate media are doing whatever they can to portray gun owners and Second Amendment advocates as dangerous and crazy.
Add to this mix the news I received from a friend whose brother was the captain of a ship in the U.S. Navy and is still working as a Navy consultant. The brother said that a few years back, military personnel were posed with the question: Would you fire upon American citizens if ordered to do so? Eighty percent said "no." First off, why was the government asking this question unless it has plans to do so. And, two, don't breathe easy because 80 percent said they wouldn't. That, in my mind, is why illegals are now granted citizenship after serving in the U.S. military. The government needs to get as many people in its military who have no connection with U.S. history or any kind of feeling for what it means to be an American. I seriously doubt if many recent immigrants, legal or illegal, have a dewdrop in their eyes when they think of Thomas Jefferson or Lewis and Clark. And governments know that soldiers do not want to fire upon their countrymen. Remember Tian an Men Square? The soldiers who mowed down student protesters were not from Beijing. The Chinese government called in troops from distant provinces to do the dirty work. So what's to say foreign-born troops aren't being trained to fire on Americans in the event of social unrest?
Also recall that we are now using more military contractors (aka mercenaries) in Iraq than we are U.S. troops, that the infamous Blackwater, now known as Xe, was used in New Orleans to "police" the populace after Katrina, and that several U.S. cities have already contracted with Blackwater to control citizens in the event of civil unrest. And remember what Blackwater has done in Iraq, shooting civilians for no reason other than it felt good. Also that Blackwater is comprised of work-for-hire gunman from war-torn, impoverished countries in Africa and eastern Europe, people who could care less if they killed Americans.
Of course, there are also other means that could be used: predator drones and UN troops, some of which have been training on U.S. soil. Wouldn't it be ironic if the Americans who didn't give a hoot about the civilians we are murdering with drones in Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan--saying that it saves the lives of American troops--would be murdered by drones that are piloted by American troops?
To add still another layer to this evil, more and more is being written about how this economic disaster has been orchestrated, that it was intentional, in order to destroy the American system and issue in a new currency. In fact, the $3 trillion wars we're currently fighting are a fantastic means to bring about our ruin. Bringing down the U.S. is one of the last agenda items in the march toward one world government.
These bastards are so ingenious, getting taxpayers to fund their own enslavement and annhilation. Brilliant!
I'm not rushing out to buy a gun, but I certainly can understand why people are doing so. The government is not to be trusted, I've known that since the mid-1980s, when I began to look into CIA"s cocaine-gun running.
The most important thing is to be informed but not afraid. Fear is what the powers that be want. Fear means control, and I will not be controlled. Now is the time to understand the evil that is at the core of business and government but to keep one's own house in order, delighting in the beauty that surrounds you in every moment and knowing that you are far more than the little body you are currently inhabiting.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Surgery a No-Go
I got a call from UCLA this morning, and the transplant is not going to happen, at least not between Janet and Bob, and Maria and me. As those of you who read my blog know, Janet, my next-door neighbor, volunteered to be a donor over a year ago, after only knowing me two months. It took over a year for me to jump through all the hoops to get on the list (including heart surgery and recovery from hip surgery). Finally, Janet could be tested to see if she was healthy enough to be a donor. She finally passed all her tests. But she's an A and I'm an O. O's can only receive from other O's.
By a beautiful turn of events(see previous posts for full story), I was introduced to another mismatched pair--an O donor and an A recipient. Usually an O can donate to anyone, but Bob has antibodies to Maria because of his previous transplant. So we were going to do a paired donation--Maria would give to me, and Janet would give to Bob.
We had dates set--next Thursday for Janet's and Bob's surgeries,and August 10 for Maria's and my surgeries. But we knew that we were still waiting for the final word on the compatibility of Janet and Bob. We heard this morning that Bob has antibodies to Janet, and the process to make two incompatible donors compatible, known as plasmaferesis, basically a plasma exchange, would be too dangerous for him.
I have the option of undergoing plasmaferesis in order to be compatible with Janet. This would involve surgically putting a shunt in my arterry (as in hemodialysis) and undergoing four weeks of IV plasma exchanges several times a week prior to surgery. On face value, this sounds like a lot of extra strain on the body, so I am attempting to make an appt. with the UCLA surgeon who is in charge of plasmaferesis to weigh the risks.
For right now, Janet and I are in a computerized data base of approx. 113 mismatched pairs in So Cal. Whenever a pair is added, it has the potential to change the dynamics of many people within the pool. I've heard various estimates as to how long it might take to get a match--tomorrow to 18 months, again, because you never know how a new pair could change things.
As with all supposedly "bad" news, I take it exceedingly well. No tears, no hand wringing, no whining, no worries. It's as if I am detached from the outcome. That probably doesn't make sense to a lot of you, but it is a way that works wonderfully for me. To give my all and then let it go. There is at least one advantage to delaying surgery that I can see: It will give me more time in cardiac rehab to get my heart in top shape.
But it does mean continuing to do dialysis every night for the foreseeable future.
By a beautiful turn of events(see previous posts for full story), I was introduced to another mismatched pair--an O donor and an A recipient. Usually an O can donate to anyone, but Bob has antibodies to Maria because of his previous transplant. So we were going to do a paired donation--Maria would give to me, and Janet would give to Bob.
We had dates set--next Thursday for Janet's and Bob's surgeries,and August 10 for Maria's and my surgeries. But we knew that we were still waiting for the final word on the compatibility of Janet and Bob. We heard this morning that Bob has antibodies to Janet, and the process to make two incompatible donors compatible, known as plasmaferesis, basically a plasma exchange, would be too dangerous for him.
I have the option of undergoing plasmaferesis in order to be compatible with Janet. This would involve surgically putting a shunt in my arterry (as in hemodialysis) and undergoing four weeks of IV plasma exchanges several times a week prior to surgery. On face value, this sounds like a lot of extra strain on the body, so I am attempting to make an appt. with the UCLA surgeon who is in charge of plasmaferesis to weigh the risks.
For right now, Janet and I are in a computerized data base of approx. 113 mismatched pairs in So Cal. Whenever a pair is added, it has the potential to change the dynamics of many people within the pool. I've heard various estimates as to how long it might take to get a match--tomorrow to 18 months, again, because you never know how a new pair could change things.
As with all supposedly "bad" news, I take it exceedingly well. No tears, no hand wringing, no whining, no worries. It's as if I am detached from the outcome. That probably doesn't make sense to a lot of you, but it is a way that works wonderfully for me. To give my all and then let it go. There is at least one advantage to delaying surgery that I can see: It will give me more time in cardiac rehab to get my heart in top shape.
But it does mean continuing to do dialysis every night for the foreseeable future.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Surgery Scheduled
I heard from UCLA today that Janet's and Bob's surgeries are tentatively scheduled for July 23--10 days from today!--and that Maria's and my surgeries are tentatively scheduled for August 10.
Scheduling all four on the same day was not possible. This doesn't concern me as it did even a short time ago. We have been brought all this way. I just can't see Maria bailing. That said, I have asked the UCLA coordinator if she could arrange a meeting for the five of us. It's much more difficult to back out on someone you've met and spent time with than it is to bail on someone you've never met and never even spoken with on the phone.
In an amazing turn of events, before I got this message from UCLA, I was carrying out the recycling and met up with another neighbor, Barbara. She helped me carry the recycling to the alley. Barbara takes care of other people's dogs besides having two of her own. I told her that I would probably be having surgery fairly soon and wondered if I could pay her to watch Rasputin. She was excited about caring for him and said he'd have a good time with her other dogs. She'd keep him from getting lonely. Then she said that she has been thinking of donating one of her kidneys. She's an O and so am I. She said she would be my backup if things didn't work out with the paired donation. Isn't that amazing to have two people willing to donate to a non-family member, both within 100 feet of my front door! I am really being taken care of.
Scheduling all four on the same day was not possible. This doesn't concern me as it did even a short time ago. We have been brought all this way. I just can't see Maria bailing. That said, I have asked the UCLA coordinator if she could arrange a meeting for the five of us. It's much more difficult to back out on someone you've met and spent time with than it is to bail on someone you've never met and never even spoken with on the phone.
In an amazing turn of events, before I got this message from UCLA, I was carrying out the recycling and met up with another neighbor, Barbara. She helped me carry the recycling to the alley. Barbara takes care of other people's dogs besides having two of her own. I told her that I would probably be having surgery fairly soon and wondered if I could pay her to watch Rasputin. She was excited about caring for him and said he'd have a good time with her other dogs. She'd keep him from getting lonely. Then she said that she has been thinking of donating one of her kidneys. She's an O and so am I. She said she would be my backup if things didn't work out with the paired donation. Isn't that amazing to have two people willing to donate to a non-family member, both within 100 feet of my front door! I am really being taken care of.
Friday, July 09, 2010
Movement in the Transplant Process
I just got off the phone with one of the transplant coordinators from UCLA. Finally, someone who took the time to explain the process to me. Thank God!
Suzanne said that all four of us are now medically cleared. Now what has to happen is that Bob's blood needs to be cross-matched with Janet's and mine needs to be cross-matched with Maria's. It's already been established that Maria and I are a go, but the problem may be with Bob and his antibodies from a previous transplant.
If the cross-matching goes well, Janet and Maria will meet with the surgeons for their clearance. If the surgeons say "yes," then it's a matter of scheduling and final blood tests and chest x-rays. Suzanne said that she's now scheduling living donations in mid-September, and ours is complicated by a paired donation. She is trying to get things done before Janet must return to work in the fall, but she's not making any promises.
Suzanne told me that Maria and I are only blood-compatible, not tissue-compatible. There are six points of tissue compatibility, and we do not have one of the six in common. Suzanne said this is no longer considered a factor in the viability of the organ or in the patient's long-term survivability. She also seemed to say that it has little to do with the amount of immune suppressants I will have to take post-op.
I remain optimistic. It's a miracle that I would move in next to a woman who wants to be my donor. And it's a miracle how we got hooked up with Bob and Maria. It sure seems as if the universe has orchestrated things thus far. I'm sure that all will go smoothly and we'll get the transplants done this summer.
I just need to get over this cold! After three full weeks, I'm still congested and coughing. Still having to sit up every night to sleep.
Suzanne said that all four of us are now medically cleared. Now what has to happen is that Bob's blood needs to be cross-matched with Janet's and mine needs to be cross-matched with Maria's. It's already been established that Maria and I are a go, but the problem may be with Bob and his antibodies from a previous transplant.
If the cross-matching goes well, Janet and Maria will meet with the surgeons for their clearance. If the surgeons say "yes," then it's a matter of scheduling and final blood tests and chest x-rays. Suzanne said that she's now scheduling living donations in mid-September, and ours is complicated by a paired donation. She is trying to get things done before Janet must return to work in the fall, but she's not making any promises.
Suzanne told me that Maria and I are only blood-compatible, not tissue-compatible. There are six points of tissue compatibility, and we do not have one of the six in common. Suzanne said this is no longer considered a factor in the viability of the organ or in the patient's long-term survivability. She also seemed to say that it has little to do with the amount of immune suppressants I will have to take post-op.
I remain optimistic. It's a miracle that I would move in next to a woman who wants to be my donor. And it's a miracle how we got hooked up with Bob and Maria. It sure seems as if the universe has orchestrated things thus far. I'm sure that all will go smoothly and we'll get the transplants done this summer.
I just need to get over this cold! After three full weeks, I'm still congested and coughing. Still having to sit up every night to sleep.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Where You'll Eventually End Up if You Leave the Forest
A few nights ago, I watched two documentaries that, on first glance, might seem to have no connection points, but the next morning, in a flash of insight, I realized how nicely they dovetail.
The first was "A Certain Kind of Death," which shows the viewer, in sometimes graphic detail, what happens to those who die with no next of kin. We see the initial police investigation of the body, followed by efforts to find family through papers in the deceased's residence, the eventual carting away of possessions and their sale at a monthly auction, the burning of the body in the crematory, and finally, burial of the ashes in a mass grave. The only exception was one man who had about $60,000 in the bank. After the City of Los Angeles deducted expenses for the government workers and the movers, his estate was left with sufficient funds to bury him in a beautiful, old cemetary in Mendocino, which I recall from my days in Pt. Arena. He had left detailed sketches as to where he wished to be placed.
The other documentary, "Keep the River on Your Right: A Modern Cannibal Tale," concerned the late artist-turned-anthrologist Tobias Schneebaum, a life-long New Yorker who, in his early 30s, went to Peru on a Fullbright and ended up deep in the jungle. He was befriended by a tribe that had had little or no contact with outsiders. The men would take Tobias hunting, but one day, what Tobias had thought was a trek to hunt for animals turned out to be a war party. Though he did not participaate in the massacre of the men in the other tribe's village, a spear was placed in his hand after a man had already died and he was pressured into piercing the corpse. What's more, the warriors then began to eat their victims, and Tobias felt that he had to take one bite. This so distubed Tobias that he left the tribe without saying goodbye and headed back to civilization. He did not return for 45 years, pressured to do so by the film crew. (Actually, most of the film takes place in New Guinea, where he had also befriended a tribe and had a very deep connection with a male lover.)
Since Tobias' first visit, the tribe had moved deeper into the forest to get away from the missionaries. Still, their way of life had completely changed. When Tobias arrives, the village is assembled in a common house watching TV. Empty beer bottles are piled up underneath the house, which is raised off the ground on stilts. The people are wearing clothes now, primarily football jerseys and shorts. I often wonder if visiting anthropologists and adventure tourists bring them football jerseys, thinking they will make cool gifts.
To Tobias' surprise, one woman and at least two men whom he knew 45 years ago are still alive. The woman says, rather forlornly it seemed to me, "Now we're wearing clothes. But that's OK." I got the feeling she would much prefer to be nude again and to see the men nude.
In no way am I endorsing cannibalism, but it was so clear to me that these people's power had been so greatly diminished. Previously they had been self-sufficient, deeply in touch with their surroundings, sensual and proud. Now they were sitting around in dirty football jerseys, watching TV and drinking beer.
I saw so profoundly the connection between these Peruvian villagers and the men in LA who had died with no next of kin. Dying alone in a filthy, cockroach-infested apartment in a big city is the end result of leaving the forest.
The first was "A Certain Kind of Death," which shows the viewer, in sometimes graphic detail, what happens to those who die with no next of kin. We see the initial police investigation of the body, followed by efforts to find family through papers in the deceased's residence, the eventual carting away of possessions and their sale at a monthly auction, the burning of the body in the crematory, and finally, burial of the ashes in a mass grave. The only exception was one man who had about $60,000 in the bank. After the City of Los Angeles deducted expenses for the government workers and the movers, his estate was left with sufficient funds to bury him in a beautiful, old cemetary in Mendocino, which I recall from my days in Pt. Arena. He had left detailed sketches as to where he wished to be placed.
The other documentary, "Keep the River on Your Right: A Modern Cannibal Tale," concerned the late artist-turned-anthrologist Tobias Schneebaum, a life-long New Yorker who, in his early 30s, went to Peru on a Fullbright and ended up deep in the jungle. He was befriended by a tribe that had had little or no contact with outsiders. The men would take Tobias hunting, but one day, what Tobias had thought was a trek to hunt for animals turned out to be a war party. Though he did not participaate in the massacre of the men in the other tribe's village, a spear was placed in his hand after a man had already died and he was pressured into piercing the corpse. What's more, the warriors then began to eat their victims, and Tobias felt that he had to take one bite. This so distubed Tobias that he left the tribe without saying goodbye and headed back to civilization. He did not return for 45 years, pressured to do so by the film crew. (Actually, most of the film takes place in New Guinea, where he had also befriended a tribe and had a very deep connection with a male lover.)
Since Tobias' first visit, the tribe had moved deeper into the forest to get away from the missionaries. Still, their way of life had completely changed. When Tobias arrives, the village is assembled in a common house watching TV. Empty beer bottles are piled up underneath the house, which is raised off the ground on stilts. The people are wearing clothes now, primarily football jerseys and shorts. I often wonder if visiting anthropologists and adventure tourists bring them football jerseys, thinking they will make cool gifts.
To Tobias' surprise, one woman and at least two men whom he knew 45 years ago are still alive. The woman says, rather forlornly it seemed to me, "Now we're wearing clothes. But that's OK." I got the feeling she would much prefer to be nude again and to see the men nude.
In no way am I endorsing cannibalism, but it was so clear to me that these people's power had been so greatly diminished. Previously they had been self-sufficient, deeply in touch with their surroundings, sensual and proud. Now they were sitting around in dirty football jerseys, watching TV and drinking beer.
I saw so profoundly the connection between these Peruvian villagers and the men in LA who had died with no next of kin. Dying alone in a filthy, cockroach-infested apartment in a big city is the end result of leaving the forest.
Monday, July 05, 2010
Can Collecting Not Just for the Homeless Anymore
This morning while walking Rasputin, I came across a friendly, young, black couple who were going through the trash, looking for cans. They were definitely not homeless, as their bodies and their clothes were clean. Perhaps they are chronically unemployed or under-employed or working full-time but at low wages. This is a population we're going to see more of in this country, as the number of people who have exhausted their state and federal unemployment benefits is now at 2.5 million. That's a lot of people.
Sunday, July 04, 2010
Blue Skies
Beautiful, blue skies today in Southern California, just as it should be, just as it used to be before chemtrails. I guess even the spooks take Fourth of July off!
For those of you who don't yet know about chemtrails, well, all I can say is that you start to do a little research and if you have any curiosity at all, you'll go down the rabbit hole into the world of government spooky business. Chemtrails will lead to underground bases or secret prisons for political activists on U.S. soil or plans for thinning the population or controlling the masses during epidemics cooked up in government labs. It's a deep hole, so watch out!
I started noticing chemtrails about 25 years ago. This is long before they began to appear in online discussions. I remember pointing them out to my then-husband, and we've been separated and then divorced for almost a quarter century. I noted that they hung around much longer in the sky than jet trails, tended to disperse over a wide area, and crisscrossed, as if created by design by several aircraft.
One of the chief reasons why there isn't a general outcry about chemtrails is that people no longer gaze at the clouds. People are just too gosh darn busy to spend daydream time doing that. If they were taking stock of their surroundings, they would see that there is a clear difference between jet trails and chemtrails. There are all kinds of theories as to what chemtrails are composed of and what their purpose is, and it's much too much to get into here, but like the ridiculous explanations our government gave for 911, the government gives equally ridiculous answers about chemtrails. Basically, the official line is that they are really jet trails, that's all. Well, if that's the case, then they're a radically different kind of jet trail, so that begs the questions, "In what ways are they different? Why are they different? How did these differences come about? What is the chemical composition of these trails? Why do they hang around in the air when regular jet trails don't? Why do they disperse over large areas when regular jet trails don't?" This ridiculous response reminds me of government explanations for UFOs, saying they are merely weather balloons. Sure, weather balloons that change colors, change formation, zip across the sky, disappear and reappear in another part of the heavens. That's some weather balloon! Just like chemtrails are some jet trails!
For those of you who don't yet know about chemtrails, well, all I can say is that you start to do a little research and if you have any curiosity at all, you'll go down the rabbit hole into the world of government spooky business. Chemtrails will lead to underground bases or secret prisons for political activists on U.S. soil or plans for thinning the population or controlling the masses during epidemics cooked up in government labs. It's a deep hole, so watch out!
I started noticing chemtrails about 25 years ago. This is long before they began to appear in online discussions. I remember pointing them out to my then-husband, and we've been separated and then divorced for almost a quarter century. I noted that they hung around much longer in the sky than jet trails, tended to disperse over a wide area, and crisscrossed, as if created by design by several aircraft.
One of the chief reasons why there isn't a general outcry about chemtrails is that people no longer gaze at the clouds. People are just too gosh darn busy to spend daydream time doing that. If they were taking stock of their surroundings, they would see that there is a clear difference between jet trails and chemtrails. There are all kinds of theories as to what chemtrails are composed of and what their purpose is, and it's much too much to get into here, but like the ridiculous explanations our government gave for 911, the government gives equally ridiculous answers about chemtrails. Basically, the official line is that they are really jet trails, that's all. Well, if that's the case, then they're a radically different kind of jet trail, so that begs the questions, "In what ways are they different? Why are they different? How did these differences come about? What is the chemical composition of these trails? Why do they hang around in the air when regular jet trails don't? Why do they disperse over large areas when regular jet trails don't?" This ridiculous response reminds me of government explanations for UFOs, saying they are merely weather balloons. Sure, weather balloons that change colors, change formation, zip across the sky, disappear and reappear in another part of the heavens. That's some weather balloon! Just like chemtrails are some jet trails!
The Role of Denial in Obesity
In yesterday's post, I related the story of an overweight former co-worker. Like an alcoholic before he hits bottom and goes to his first AA meeting, overweight people are so often in denial, not that they have a problem, but that the problem is of their own making. They blame their condition on genetics, lack of time to cook right, or, like this former co-worker, on the struggle she's waged all her life against weight, to no avail. And yet, it's a struggle for me to see the struggle, as any opportunity to indulge in a sweet is never passed up. There doesn't seem to be a struggle at all, just an easy saying "yes" to desserts.
I recall another insightful incident that occurred almost 30 years ago, long before obesity was a matter of public discourse. I was a philosophy student at the time, and an overweight classmate of mine was often telling me how she ate nothing but salads. I found this hard to believe, but I had nothing but her word to go by until the day she gave me a ride home from campus. I glanced in her back seat and saw that it was littered with hundreds of burger wrappers, french fry bags, and empty malted milk containers. Burger King appeared to be the fast-food joint of choice. Rarely does one see such a classic example of denial, someone literally tossing one's garbage behind oneself, out of sight, supposedly out of mind. I realized that the litter in the back seat was something she could not face, and so it might pile up until her husband cleaned it out or paid someone else to do it. But I knew, looking at it, that she would not be able to do it herself. This would bring her face to face with her self-deception, and that confrontation would rock her foundation, the story she had told the world and herself about herself.
Just like in AA, when the recovering alcoholic has to take personal responsibility for his actions, the problem of obesity requires that every overweight person admit that he or she is responsible for the excess pounds. It isn't society's fault or their parents' or their spouse's or their children's fault. It isn't because they were somehow born with a black mark on their foreheads that relegates them to a life of obesity. They have the power to change their lives. But first they must abandon denial and take a good, honest look at themselves. Without such an approach, there will be no lasting change.
I recall another insightful incident that occurred almost 30 years ago, long before obesity was a matter of public discourse. I was a philosophy student at the time, and an overweight classmate of mine was often telling me how she ate nothing but salads. I found this hard to believe, but I had nothing but her word to go by until the day she gave me a ride home from campus. I glanced in her back seat and saw that it was littered with hundreds of burger wrappers, french fry bags, and empty malted milk containers. Burger King appeared to be the fast-food joint of choice. Rarely does one see such a classic example of denial, someone literally tossing one's garbage behind oneself, out of sight, supposedly out of mind. I realized that the litter in the back seat was something she could not face, and so it might pile up until her husband cleaned it out or paid someone else to do it. But I knew, looking at it, that she would not be able to do it herself. This would bring her face to face with her self-deception, and that confrontation would rock her foundation, the story she had told the world and herself about herself.
Just like in AA, when the recovering alcoholic has to take personal responsibility for his actions, the problem of obesity requires that every overweight person admit that he or she is responsible for the excess pounds. It isn't society's fault or their parents' or their spouse's or their children's fault. It isn't because they were somehow born with a black mark on their foreheads that relegates them to a life of obesity. They have the power to change their lives. But first they must abandon denial and take a good, honest look at themselves. Without such an approach, there will be no lasting change.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
Thin People Do Not Have "Special Powers"
I get the feeling from a lot of heavy people that they think thin or healthy-weight persons have "special powers," that somehow they can eat what they want and not gain weight. Sure, I suppose there are a few such individuals, but that's not the norm. Rather, thin people are either disciplined in their eating or they are focused on other interests than food.
One summer I read the many books of Carlos Castenada in which he tells of his experiences with a Mexican shaman named don Juan. Don Juan gives Carlos many lessons, but one that is applicable here is the idea of the assemblage point, the point at which an individual's consciousness is configured in relation to the world. Having a healthy attitude toward food is a matter of shifting one's assemblage point away from an addict's self-destructive focus on food and toward a self-confident, life-affirming, disciplined approach to food in which one eats to live, not lives to eat.
This matter is in the forefront of my mind as I recently had email contact with a former co-worker whom I have not seen for several years. She had been unaware of what is going on with my health, and I gave her a brief run-down, then wrote something that I did with the best intentions, but it seems to have been for naught. She is about 5'6" and at least 300 pounds. I wrote that overweight people seem ungrateful for the great gift of health they've been given; that given all that I know about the ravages of diabetes, I can't see why they don't do everything in their power, including losing weight, in order to prevent its development in their own lives. Then I made a personal appeal and said that it is so important for her to lose weight in order to prevent disease and to be able to enjoy life to the fullest.
She wrote back that she gives thanks every day for her health and that she's been struggling with her weight since she was a baby. It's really sad how steeped in denial this response is, since I have often been with her when we've walked only a few hundred feet and she's been out of breath. Certainly that isn't the sign of a healthy body. And I've never been out with her when she hasn't ordered or bought a dessert.
Five or so years ago, we were both at a baby shower for another co-worker. Everyone had been asked to bring something to share, and we were sitting and standing in the break room, munching. The group had divided into two distinct groups. Around the vegetable trays were the thin gals, who were commenting on how crunchy the carrots and celery were and how juicy the tomotoes. Around the dessert table were the overweight gals, who were orgasming over the cheesecake and encouraging each other to have one more brownie or piece of fudge. This vignette made the thin vs. heavy drama so poignantly clear. The thin girls were really enjoying the vegetables, and the heavy gals didn't want anything but the dessert. Different assemblage points.
The problem of obesity is much more than educating people about healthy food choices. It also involves personal responsibility and honesty with one self. In fact these issues are in many ways far more important to an individual's life journey than losing weight.
One summer I read the many books of Carlos Castenada in which he tells of his experiences with a Mexican shaman named don Juan. Don Juan gives Carlos many lessons, but one that is applicable here is the idea of the assemblage point, the point at which an individual's consciousness is configured in relation to the world. Having a healthy attitude toward food is a matter of shifting one's assemblage point away from an addict's self-destructive focus on food and toward a self-confident, life-affirming, disciplined approach to food in which one eats to live, not lives to eat.
This matter is in the forefront of my mind as I recently had email contact with a former co-worker whom I have not seen for several years. She had been unaware of what is going on with my health, and I gave her a brief run-down, then wrote something that I did with the best intentions, but it seems to have been for naught. She is about 5'6" and at least 300 pounds. I wrote that overweight people seem ungrateful for the great gift of health they've been given; that given all that I know about the ravages of diabetes, I can't see why they don't do everything in their power, including losing weight, in order to prevent its development in their own lives. Then I made a personal appeal and said that it is so important for her to lose weight in order to prevent disease and to be able to enjoy life to the fullest.
She wrote back that she gives thanks every day for her health and that she's been struggling with her weight since she was a baby. It's really sad how steeped in denial this response is, since I have often been with her when we've walked only a few hundred feet and she's been out of breath. Certainly that isn't the sign of a healthy body. And I've never been out with her when she hasn't ordered or bought a dessert.
Five or so years ago, we were both at a baby shower for another co-worker. Everyone had been asked to bring something to share, and we were sitting and standing in the break room, munching. The group had divided into two distinct groups. Around the vegetable trays were the thin gals, who were commenting on how crunchy the carrots and celery were and how juicy the tomotoes. Around the dessert table were the overweight gals, who were orgasming over the cheesecake and encouraging each other to have one more brownie or piece of fudge. This vignette made the thin vs. heavy drama so poignantly clear. The thin girls were really enjoying the vegetables, and the heavy gals didn't want anything but the dessert. Different assemblage points.
The problem of obesity is much more than educating people about healthy food choices. It also involves personal responsibility and honesty with one self. In fact these issues are in many ways far more important to an individual's life journey than losing weight.
Friday, July 02, 2010
Fluid Overload
I saw my nephrologist, Dr. Butman, yesterday for my monthly clinic visit. He felt that fluid overload is the root of my problem. I have been selecting my dialysis solution based on my blood pressure, and my blood pressure has been on target, due to the meds I'm taking, so I've selected a regimen that does not extract a lot of fluid. But my weight has been increasing, even though I haven't been eating very much. Dr. Butman guessed that I'm carrying around 15-20 pounds of water weight.
Last night I used a much stronger dialysate, and this morning I was eight pounds lighter. That's a lot to lose in a few hours. I wouldn't recommend it. I feel a little hung over.
The reason why my cough doesn't go away--it's been with me more than two weeks now--is because there is probably water in my lungs. Stagnant water can turn into phlegm. I'm thinking that this all may have started on my plane trip to Canada and then to France. I was exhausted and weak during my time overseas. I thought I was anemic, but I was probably in fluid overload, which puts a strain on the heart, thereby causing weakness and fatigue.
It's not that I don't also have a cold; it's just that the fluid retention doesn't allow me to easily get over the cold. Finally, a theory about my condition that makes sense. Tonight I'm going to take it easy. Five pounds max. That's enough.
Last night I used a much stronger dialysate, and this morning I was eight pounds lighter. That's a lot to lose in a few hours. I wouldn't recommend it. I feel a little hung over.
The reason why my cough doesn't go away--it's been with me more than two weeks now--is because there is probably water in my lungs. Stagnant water can turn into phlegm. I'm thinking that this all may have started on my plane trip to Canada and then to France. I was exhausted and weak during my time overseas. I thought I was anemic, but I was probably in fluid overload, which puts a strain on the heart, thereby causing weakness and fatigue.
It's not that I don't also have a cold; it's just that the fluid retention doesn't allow me to easily get over the cold. Finally, a theory about my condition that makes sense. Tonight I'm going to take it easy. Five pounds max. That's enough.
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