Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Nightmares Not Scary

For the last decade or so, nightmares have not scared me. Whereas when I was a child or young adult, I frequently had nightmares, I now rarely do. But when I do, they do not frighten me.

In the past few years, I've had dreams of ghosts, ghouls, pursuit by demons and murderers, dark forces lurking in abandoned buildings and near-brushes with death. But each time, I felt no fear. It is as if I am simply observing, just as one would observe a beautiful sunset, a curious dog, or an inert pile of garbage. I sometimes wake up, but I am not sweating, my heart is not pounding, and I don't pull the sheets over my head to "protect" me from the Boogie Man. I just wake up, think, "Wasn't that something!" and drop back to sleep. No problem.

A few weeks ago, I dreamed that I had gotten somehow involved with a criminal gang of hillbillies, not that I ever realized there were such things as hillbilly gangs. The hillbillies' rivals were a crime syndicate of well-dressed, sophisticated, young Iranian women in traditional dress. They had an apartment that overlooked the hillbilly hide-out, and so they peered out their second-story windows at us.

One of the hillbilly gals was pregnant--or was she? She was feigning pregnancy but actually had a tummy full of stolen cash--cash that had been taken perhaps from the Iranians. Though I wasn't involved in any criminal activity, I agreed to drive the "pregnant" woman and her fiance to the hospital, where a doctor was to perform surgery and remove the cash.  I witnessed the surgery, which actually took place at a small motel, rather than a hospital. The whole business was quite sloppy and brutal, but the patient was in fairly good condition when she and her fiance entered the back of the van that I drove.

As we were exiting the motel parking lot, a hired gun for the Iranians (I assumed) stood in front of the van and fired three shots, all three of which were direct hits, the final one to my head. The action then stopped, and the dream took place inside my consciousness. I thought, "I must remain perfectly still so he'll believe that I am dead." That's when I woke up. The closest I've ever come to dying in a dream. But I was not at all scared. I found it fascinating from an intellectual standpoint, that's all.

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About Me

Southern California, United States
Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.

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