Kidney Connections

Since Susie's solicitation letter was sent out, several wonderful things have happened:

* Raul, the department chair at the journalism department, suggested that the student paper run a story about me. The reporter came by last week to interview me and the story appeared on Wednesday. Though there are several inaccuracies and made-up quotes, overall it gets the message across. I'll post the story in my next post.
* At a meditation class I attended this past weekend, I met Alon, an Iranian-born, Israeli-raised man in his 40s who told another student in the class and me something he had not told anyone before: He is going to donate a kidney to his cousin. Alon and I both are working with Suzanne, one of the transplant coordinators at UCLA.
* Best of all, Cindy, a 26-year-old from Phoenix, is interested in becoming my donor. Susie's letter was forwarded to her by her friend Julio, who is a former student of mine. Cindy's brother received a kidney from their sister 15 years ago, and both are doing well. Ever since then, Cindy has wanted to become a living donor. She's an O, and so am I, so this just might work. Cindy and I spoke for the first time this past Saturday evening. She seems really interested, and she said, "Where there's a will, there's a way." She struck me as compassionate, mature, and well-informed. Of course a lot of things could happen to prevent her from donating, and we don't even know yet if we're compatible, but it's a beautiful sign. This is the kind of connection that is made possible by the Internet.

So connections are happening. As I have learned at least two times already, one only has a potential donor until the surgery actually takes place. When Janet said she'd be my donor last August, she was a potential donor because we eventually found out that she is an A and I'm an O. Then this summer, I had surgery scheduled for Aug. 11, but two weeks before, I found out that Janet was not compatible with the other recipient, even though I was compatible with the other donor, so the paired donation did not take place.

All I can do is what is the best thing for anyone to do in this kind of situation or any situation: Do my best and then let go. Be unattached to the outcome. If I receive a kidney, that would be such a beautiful gift, such a great blessing. But if it doesn't happen, I understand that I probably will die within the next few years. I prefer the former scenario to the latter, but I cannot get wrapped up in one outcome or the other. Actually, the longer I deal with health problems, the less I focus on outcomes. More and more, I stay in the present, not in some future is always so much different than any I can imagine.