Yesterday Aaron called those people who we figured would be interested in my mother's impending death. A few gave us messages for her. Aaron and I went to the hospital this afternoon to say goodbye. Then the tubes were taken from her throat while we waited in the chapel.
She was able to breathe on her own, a scenario I had not expected. This had been presented as an outside chance. I thought this would be the end, but the drama continues.
She is now receiving only an IV with fluid, glucose, and antibiotics, and morphine on an as-needed basis. When we left, she was still heavily sedated. I'll return tomorrow morning. My neighbor suggested I speak with the hospital ethicist. Perhaps this would give me some idea as to what to expect.
I just have to protect myself psychically from this as much as possible. The stress of this situation has caused me to lose sleep and has sent my blood sugar level skyrocketing. I have to take care of my own health.
I strongly suggest to everyone who is reading this to make sure your affairs are in order so that you and your loved ones do not go through this emotional rollercoaster ride.
1) Fill out an advanced directive.
2) Make sure as many people as possible have a copy of the directive--your doctor, your spouse, your best friend, your children, the hospital to which you would most likely be taken.
3) Appoint a power of attorney for healthcare. This is a legal document that appoints one person to make your medical decisions in case you cannot. Make sure your doctor and your hospital have the person's name and contact information on file.
4) Talk openly and honestly with your significant others about your wishes.
5) Encourage your parents and other loved ones to do the same.
Taking these steps can prevent a hospital from taking extraordinary measures that may prolong your existence but greatly diminish your quality of life and add to your suffering and the suffering of those who love you.
If I had not been my mother's power of attorney, healthcare power of attorney, guardian, and trustee, I am sure she would still be hooked up to a breathing apparatus. That's because it is legally more difficult to withdraw treatment than it is to withhold it in the first place.
Mystical experiences, yearnings, politics, little dramas, poetry, kidney dialysis, insulin-dependent diabetes, and opportunities for gratitude.
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About Me
- Heidi's heart
- Southern California, United States
- Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.
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