Saturday, November 15, 2008

Friends Close and Available

I've been dealing with some very difficult things lately, the kind of things most people never have to face, or if they do, they face in their 80s or 90s. I sent an email out to friends across the continent, informing them as to this challenge and thanking them for their good thoughts on my behalf. A few wrote back with words of encouragement. Two telephoned.

It's such a strange country we live in. I imagine if I lived most places in the world, my neighbors and family and friends, who all lived within walking distance, would come to my hut and give me their love in person. But we live in a land of emails, so instead, friends write a few words of support but are too far away or too busy for direct contact. Their words are beautiful, some of them very beautiful, but they are words, not hugs, not smiles, not embraces, not time spent, face to face, together.

How wonderful it would be to have a friend close at hand and available. Someone who could break away from his or her family, lover, spouse, or other friends for a visit. Someone I wouldn't have to schedule a time to meet with weeks or months in the future. Someone I could call and say, "Hey, why don't you come over tonight. Let's cook dinner together." I've never had a friend who is both close and available, but I've long had idealistic notions about such a person. I know people who have such friends, and I think that must be a grand thing.

Last night I had a taste of what that might be like. My son's friend from work, Mike, invited Aaron and me to his and his girlfriend's apartment for dinner. I had such a fantastic time! Mike is a funny guy and a wonderful storyteller. I laughed so much--just what I needed after a day of intermittent sobbing. After dinner, we watched a Cohen Brothers movie. Such a fun evening. So easy. So relaxed.

Ah! Thank you, Mike, and girlfriend Christina, two lovely, young people who know nothing of my challenges. It's rather beautiful how sometimes what one needs is provided through alternate channels. Of course it would have been grand to have spent the evening with one or more of my own friends, but these damn-near strangers gave me all that I would have wanted from a friend's company. What a blessing!

1 comment:

Heather Clisby said...

It's like that old song: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

Wish we were closer too. Hope to see you on Thanksgiving Day.

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About Me

Southern California, United States
Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.

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