Monday, May 07, 2012
40 Years of Diabetes
Last month made 40 years of diabetes. Whew, it's been quite a ride, including heart disease, dialysis and a kidney transplant.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Salvation Mountain
Salvation Mountain is the 30-year-and-then-some project of Leonard Knight. He painted a three-story-high hill and added onto it with adobe and bales of hay. Complete with grottos, chapels, tunnels, painted trailers and vehicles. The main theme is God is Love. Unfortunately, Leonard was recently taken to a nursing home, so I missed meeting him by just a few weeks when my son and I visited just before Christmas.
This was also the case with St. Anthony's, a Catholic Church in Pittsburgh that I visited in November (the most relics next to the Vatican). The Irish nun who led the tours of the church and its collection had just been taken to a retirement home a few days before I visited. I guess this is telling me I need to go to these obscure places as soon as possible before the generation that still thought of doing anything "out there" dies off.
Here are a few photos of Salvation Mountain. What a fabulous place. Unfortunately, with no caretaker, I suspect vandals and souvenir hawks will soon be "having at it." Such a shame. It's a magical place, a very rare place in today's homogeneous, rush-rush, gotta-have-the-latest-electronic-gadget world. Someone with a real vision--not to make money, but to manifest his inner world in the outer world. A dying breed, sad to say.
This was also the case with St. Anthony's, a Catholic Church in Pittsburgh that I visited in November (the most relics next to the Vatican). The Irish nun who led the tours of the church and its collection had just been taken to a retirement home a few days before I visited. I guess this is telling me I need to go to these obscure places as soon as possible before the generation that still thought of doing anything "out there" dies off.
Here are a few photos of Salvation Mountain. What a fabulous place. Unfortunately, with no caretaker, I suspect vandals and souvenir hawks will soon be "having at it." Such a shame. It's a magical place, a very rare place in today's homogeneous, rush-rush, gotta-have-the-latest-electronic-gadget world. Someone with a real vision--not to make money, but to manifest his inner world in the outer world. A dying breed, sad to say.
Insights Into Mom More Than Two Years After Her Death
I recently sorted through my mother's 2003 and 2004 taxes, since tax forms older than seven years can be tossed. I looked through every page because I wanted to shred any papers that had her name, former address, or Social Security number on them. Three things struck me about what I saw, the first of which is rather mundane, but the latter two which are tragic.
1. She preferred paper clips to staples. There were hundreds of paper clips, many of which held together only two tiny pieces of paper. I wondered why she did this. I can only think that an elderly woman with thin skin could easily be cut by the end of a staple and not so easily with a paper clip.
2. Following her retirement as executive director of the Girl Scouts of Racine County, she continued to make donations to the local council and the nationwide organization. She had worked as what would be called the CEO-CFO from March 1969 to mid-1985. Sixteen years. She really gave her all to that job, and the stress took a big toll on her. Yet when she died in December of 2009, I could not get anyone currently working at the Racine council to care. I told the then-executive director that I was very willing to write an obit for any e-newsletter that went to members and volunteers. I said I was sure that there were people who would remember her and appreciate knowing what had happened to her. I said if only for historical purposes, she might be interested. Dead air on the other side of the line.
The contribution receipts that I came across in my mom's taxes reminded me of this exchange over two years ago. The message came through loud and clear: You can work your tail off at your job, but when you die, no one from your former workplace is going to care. So, as always, make sure this is how you really want to be spending your time, because in the end, very few if any people will remember or appreciate what you did during your career, especially if you die long after retiring or moving on to another job.
3. On the top of copies of tax forms my mother sent to the government was written "your copy" in my mother's handwriting. Not "my copy" but "your copy" as if she were handing these form to another person. She often addressed herself in the third person in letters to me, but I can't remember seeing this odd use of the second person singular before this.
This strange way of addressing herself is further confirmation of something I've known for a long time about my mother: She was not present in her body. Rather she was coping as best she could without a definite sense of self, always looking outside herself for cues. Her addiction to pain meds during the last 10 years of her life only made this state all the more acute.
******************
A few interesting things about these newspaper articles:
* The use of "Mrs." and the use of "Mrs. Eugene (Arlyn) Siehr"--as if her first name was her husband's first name and then misspelling her first name on top of it! A time when women were designated by their husbands, not by what they were doing on their own out in the world.
* She retired on my birthday--July 31.
* The reporter thought fit to provide her home address.
* She did in fact work for the Girl Scouts of the USA in interim executive director positions in Hibbing, Mich. (Upper Michigan), and Grand Junction, Colo. As such, she was what would now be called a turnaround manager, as she took councils that were struggling financially and got their houses in order.
1. She preferred paper clips to staples. There were hundreds of paper clips, many of which held together only two tiny pieces of paper. I wondered why she did this. I can only think that an elderly woman with thin skin could easily be cut by the end of a staple and not so easily with a paper clip.
2. Following her retirement as executive director of the Girl Scouts of Racine County, she continued to make donations to the local council and the nationwide organization. She had worked as what would be called the CEO-CFO from March 1969 to mid-1985. Sixteen years. She really gave her all to that job, and the stress took a big toll on her. Yet when she died in December of 2009, I could not get anyone currently working at the Racine council to care. I told the then-executive director that I was very willing to write an obit for any e-newsletter that went to members and volunteers. I said I was sure that there were people who would remember her and appreciate knowing what had happened to her. I said if only for historical purposes, she might be interested. Dead air on the other side of the line.
The contribution receipts that I came across in my mom's taxes reminded me of this exchange over two years ago. The message came through loud and clear: You can work your tail off at your job, but when you die, no one from your former workplace is going to care. So, as always, make sure this is how you really want to be spending your time, because in the end, very few if any people will remember or appreciate what you did during your career, especially if you die long after retiring or moving on to another job.
3. On the top of copies of tax forms my mother sent to the government was written "your copy" in my mother's handwriting. Not "my copy" but "your copy" as if she were handing these form to another person. She often addressed herself in the third person in letters to me, but I can't remember seeing this odd use of the second person singular before this.
This strange way of addressing herself is further confirmation of something I've known for a long time about my mother: She was not present in her body. Rather she was coping as best she could without a definite sense of self, always looking outside herself for cues. Her addiction to pain meds during the last 10 years of her life only made this state all the more acute.
******************
A few interesting things about these newspaper articles:
* The use of "Mrs." and the use of "Mrs. Eugene (Arlyn) Siehr"--as if her first name was her husband's first name and then misspelling her first name on top of it! A time when women were designated by their husbands, not by what they were doing on their own out in the world.
* She retired on my birthday--July 31.
* The reporter thought fit to provide her home address.
* She did in fact work for the Girl Scouts of the USA in interim executive director positions in Hibbing, Mich. (Upper Michigan), and Grand Junction, Colo. As such, she was what would now be called a turnaround manager, as she took councils that were struggling financially and got their houses in order.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Like a Guard in a Prison Watch Tower
On Christmas Eve around midnight, I went out to spread good cheer and magic throughout my neighborhood, ringing sleigh bells and bringing little gifts to the doors and car windshields of strangers and friends alike. If a child happened to be up at that time, he or she would have heard the bells and thought that Santa was passing by. I also handed out my little packets of goodies to passersby, whatever it was they were doing at such an hour. Attached were notes asking them to be extra good in the coming year, because the world needs all the goodness it can get. Ho, ho, ho, Santa.
I put together gift bags for two women I've befriended, both of whom are single and without family in the area. Bags full of treats and things like scarves and mittens that they could use. To deliver one of these I had to pass through Rose Park, which is in the middle of a large roundabout. The park is separated into quandrants by east-west and north-south sidewalks. The sidewalks are well-lit, whereas the rest of the park is only dimly illuminated. So, given that it was late and I was alone, I did the prudent thing and walked through the park on the north-south sidewalk in the bright light.
Halfway through, at the central gazebo, a voice rang out, "STOP! You are in the park illegally. Your photo will be taken." Or something very similar to that. I wasn't afraid, only surprised. I felt as if I were in a prison camp movie, you know, when the prisoner is spotted by the guard in the watch tower, the spotlight is shown on the lone man, and the machine guns open fire on the poor soul. That was the tone of the voice, and at least to my mind, it sure seemed as if the voice were issuing from somewhere above me.
I, of course, did not stop but kept walking. How silly to stop in a park at midnight, one o'clock, when a man's voice calls out to me. No way! I half-expected to be shot. That's the creepy feeling the voice instilled in me.
On my way home, I again went through the park. Again the voice and the flash of a camera, taking a photo of Santa. How ridiculous if I were sent the photo with a fine. I can see the headline: Santa Fined for Spreading Christmas Cheer.
I went back the next day to see if there are any signs giving park hours or stating that it is against some city ordinance to be in the park after sunset. I took photos of the signs that are posted, but none of them state anything about the illegality of being in the park after dark. So how is someone to know?
Let me get this all straight: If you are engaged in criminal activity, do it in the dark areas of the park, away from the cameras, so there will neither be a photo record of what you are doing nor will any passing patrol car be able to see what you're doing. You, criminal, are free of surveillance. But if you're a law-abiding citizen, just trying to get through the park as quickly and safely as possible, and therefore passing through the well-lit areas, your photo will be taken and you'll be treated like a criminal.
Doesn't this perfectly sum up the philosophy of the police state: Let the criminals do what they want because they, like the government, breed fear in the populace. And scare the shit out of law-abiding citizens so they'll be too scared to confront the government.
I put together gift bags for two women I've befriended, both of whom are single and without family in the area. Bags full of treats and things like scarves and mittens that they could use. To deliver one of these I had to pass through Rose Park, which is in the middle of a large roundabout. The park is separated into quandrants by east-west and north-south sidewalks. The sidewalks are well-lit, whereas the rest of the park is only dimly illuminated. So, given that it was late and I was alone, I did the prudent thing and walked through the park on the north-south sidewalk in the bright light.
Halfway through, at the central gazebo, a voice rang out, "STOP! You are in the park illegally. Your photo will be taken." Or something very similar to that. I wasn't afraid, only surprised. I felt as if I were in a prison camp movie, you know, when the prisoner is spotted by the guard in the watch tower, the spotlight is shown on the lone man, and the machine guns open fire on the poor soul. That was the tone of the voice, and at least to my mind, it sure seemed as if the voice were issuing from somewhere above me.
I, of course, did not stop but kept walking. How silly to stop in a park at midnight, one o'clock, when a man's voice calls out to me. No way! I half-expected to be shot. That's the creepy feeling the voice instilled in me.
On my way home, I again went through the park. Again the voice and the flash of a camera, taking a photo of Santa. How ridiculous if I were sent the photo with a fine. I can see the headline: Santa Fined for Spreading Christmas Cheer.
I went back the next day to see if there are any signs giving park hours or stating that it is against some city ordinance to be in the park after sunset. I took photos of the signs that are posted, but none of them state anything about the illegality of being in the park after dark. So how is someone to know?
Let me get this all straight: If you are engaged in criminal activity, do it in the dark areas of the park, away from the cameras, so there will neither be a photo record of what you are doing nor will any passing patrol car be able to see what you're doing. You, criminal, are free of surveillance. But if you're a law-abiding citizen, just trying to get through the park as quickly and safely as possible, and therefore passing through the well-lit areas, your photo will be taken and you'll be treated like a criminal.
Doesn't this perfectly sum up the philosophy of the police state: Let the criminals do what they want because they, like the government, breed fear in the populace. And scare the shit out of law-abiding citizens so they'll be too scared to confront the government.
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