Saturday, April 30, 2011
Rasputin's Dear Friend Tigger
Last night Rasputin's dear friend Tigger spent the night. In the morning, Rasputin and Tigger spent part of the day with Tigger's human companions, Tom and Darrell. I went a bit nuts photographing their cuteness. Here are some of the best shots.
Monday, April 18, 2011
The Green Feeling*
Since I was a young child, I have been deeply affected by green living things. I sense a presence eminating from them, a quiet transcendance. Though I can also see this in animals and people, it is far easier to perceive it in plants, as they are as close to pure being-ness as this world seems to get.
People are busy creating images of themselves that they project onto the world and back into themselves until they believe the image is the reality. They are caught up in doing and lose sight of being completely at peace in the here and now. Animals, to the extent that they are tainted by human interaction, also have affectations and neuroses, though usually not as severe as humans.
Plants, especially trees, are great teachers. The wind blows, they move. They don't resist, they don't brace themselves in fear. Leaves touch gently in a breeze, and then as easily separate again--no resistance at contact, no pain at loss. Instead, I get such a strong sense of playfulness, elegance, and wonderment watching their dance.
This sense of the vibrant, universal life force playing out before me in dappled sunlight or the bright face of a flower or rustling leaves is ever-present whenever I step outside, but only if I am not in a hurry and my mind is not engaged elsewhere. It also helps to be alone, since humans generally fill space and time with conversation, which distracts from what is in front of them.
The day before yesterday, I took a long, leisurely walk with Rasputin at El Dorado Park, a large regional park in northeast Long Beach. At one point, I sat on a picnic table and gazed at the trees around me. I experienced an especially wonderful "green feeling."
Most often, the green feeling brings with it a profound understanding and appreciation of beauty, wonder, and joy. But sometimes this feeling is heightened to the level of unconditional love, as if the entire natural world is whispering, "You are loved." Unfortunately, most people rush about, not even aware of the beauty, except perhaps in an intellectual way, commenting to themselves or outloud, "Isn't that beautiful!" But few actually experience the beauty without internal or external commentary. Fewer still see this stirring of love and vibrancy, this dynamism of the world buzzing with life.
To be clear, I don't mean that I literally hear the trees talking to me. It is something that is way beyond words. A knowing-ness that all is right in the world, however it may seem, because in that moment of pure connection with the trees or the flowers or the sunlight, only this beauty exists. The human-made dramas and horrors are not present in the tree, the flowers, or the sunlight, so during that moment, they do not exist. They are ephemera.
The green feeling has sustained me throughout my life. It is as if the entire natural world is simultaneously my best friend and a trillion friends, just as a single tree is also thousands of leaves cavorting in a breeze. Once again, the green feeling lifted my spirits. Though the conditions that prompted last week's tears are still present, I have cried myself out. I again feel at peace.
Two young kids, a brother and sister, must have felt a "green connection" too, as I watched them jump from the top of a picnic table and grab a tree branch, then gleefully swing from it. It is so rare to see children playing without some sort of device. Just having fun with what's right in front of them. But if anything can take them away from video games and cell phones, by God, it's a tree!
* I took these photos at El Dorado Park under some gorgeous trees.
People are busy creating images of themselves that they project onto the world and back into themselves until they believe the image is the reality. They are caught up in doing and lose sight of being completely at peace in the here and now. Animals, to the extent that they are tainted by human interaction, also have affectations and neuroses, though usually not as severe as humans.
This sense of the vibrant, universal life force playing out before me in dappled sunlight or the bright face of a flower or rustling leaves is ever-present whenever I step outside, but only if I am not in a hurry and my mind is not engaged elsewhere. It also helps to be alone, since humans generally fill space and time with conversation, which distracts from what is in front of them.
Most often, the green feeling brings with it a profound understanding and appreciation of beauty, wonder, and joy. But sometimes this feeling is heightened to the level of unconditional love, as if the entire natural world is whispering, "You are loved." Unfortunately, most people rush about, not even aware of the beauty, except perhaps in an intellectual way, commenting to themselves or outloud, "Isn't that beautiful!" But few actually experience the beauty without internal or external commentary. Fewer still see this stirring of love and vibrancy, this dynamism of the world buzzing with life.
The green feeling has sustained me throughout my life. It is as if the entire natural world is simultaneously my best friend and a trillion friends, just as a single tree is also thousands of leaves cavorting in a breeze. Once again, the green feeling lifted my spirits. Though the conditions that prompted last week's tears are still present, I have cried myself out. I again feel at peace.
Two young kids, a brother and sister, must have felt a "green connection" too, as I watched them jump from the top of a picnic table and grab a tree branch, then gleefully swing from it. It is so rare to see children playing without some sort of device. Just having fun with what's right in front of them. But if anything can take them away from video games and cell phones, by God, it's a tree!
* I took these photos at El Dorado Park under some gorgeous trees.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
The Ideal Conditions for Compassion*
I spent a great deal of my childhood and early and mid adulthood crying whenever I was by myself. During the past decade or so, that has not been the case. Besides the trail of unseen tears I've left during the past week, I can't remember the last time I cried on my own behalf. I frequently cry when I see photos of misery or read of violence, but I rarely cry over my own life anymore. This week was an exception.
They are all good people; it's just that the conditions in this society are not conducive to compassion. People are busy. They're stressed. They have very little time for themselves and their immediate family or loved ones, much less for friends. Like traffic noise, this state of affairs is not any one person's fault. It is simply the way things are.
So there I was, hugging my pillow for comfort and talking aloud to who-knows-who. At some point in my sob fest, I turned my emotions off so that my intellect could make an analysis. I turned on my bedroom light, grabbed the notebook I keep on my dresser for just such late-night insights, and began writing a list of the ideal conditions for compassion:
* Luxuriousness of time--Neither the sobber or the compassionate one is pressed for time. The former does not have to quickly spill her guts because either she or her confessor must soon rush off to do something else.
* Shared experiences.--Ideally, someone with chronic illness would speak with someone else who has a chronic illness. Likewise, someone who has been without relationship for many years probably will not be well-served by someone who has been in a long-term, happy relatioship and has never known chronic loneliness.
* No interruptions, intrusions, or distractions--Cell phones off.
* A quiet place.
* Privacy--This is not a conversation that should be overheard by anyone, aquaintances or strangers.
* Mindfulness and the ability to really listen--The confessor gives his or her full attention to the person in pain. No thinking about what needs to be done that night or what happened yesterday.
* Selflessness--A concentration on the one who is hurting, not an opportunity to deflect the conversation away from the sobber and to oneself or one's own experiences, unless they are particularly germane and do not pull the conversation away from the feelings and experiences of the confessee. For example, if a friend tells you that she has cancer, don't tell her you know how she feels because you stubbed your toe.
Looking over this list, you can see that very rarely are these conditions present when someone in our rush-rush, consumer-oriented society is in pain. But perhaps by keeping this list in mind the next time someone who is hurting crosses our path, we will remember to slow down, be completely present, and provide a safe, inviting place for the person to cry. Listening with one's full being is afterall the greatest gift you can ever give someone. And you may just receive in return the greatest gift you have ever received--a glimpse of eternity in the other's eyes.
* The photos posted here are ones I took in my neighbor's front yard.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Iranians are my Biggest Fans
Very interesting to note that during the past few days, more Iranians have visited this blog than anyone else. More Iranians than Germans. More Iranians than Americans.
I sure wish visitors would post comments. It would be interesting to know what you're interested in and about the subjects you agree or disagree with me.
I sure wish visitors would post comments. It would be interesting to know what you're interested in and about the subjects you agree or disagree with me.
Tax Day
April 15. Tax day. Also my son's 25th birthday.
Tax day is always unsettling for me. If my government were doing only upright and decent things with the money I send it, I would be fine with my contribution. But we all know that's not what's going on.
We're the biggest war economy in the history of the planet. It is such a travesty that my tax dollars are spent on killing Iraqi, Afghan, Pakistani, Palestinian, and Libyan civilians. Actually, why stop with civilians--I we don't have any business killing anyone.
How wonderful it would be to live in a country that had no military at all, or a very small one. Then the tax money could be spent on creating the best education and healthcare systems in the world, complete with rigorous foreign language, art, music, science, math, and literature programs for all and with acupuncture, massage, and herbal medicine thrown in with conventional treatment. How marvelous if money were going to support the work of artists, dancers, poets, novelists, craftspeople, scientists, and visionaries. Wouldn't it be grand to have hefty budgets for our national parks, for wildlife studies and conservation, and for programs to bring children into contact with nature?
And what would it be like if no American went hungry and none had to sleep on the street or in an alley? What if all our elderly were honored with a decent standard of living, instead of being threatened with Republican Paul Ryan's plan to end Medicare as we know it and replace it with a fixed monthly amount for seniors to buy their own health insurance! C'mon, no one wants to cover seniors and the disabled; that's why we have Medicare. Ryan's plan is a blueprint to help seniors die quickly, as most of them would without adequate or any medical coverage.
What an amazing country this would be if our government put people first, not corporations. The vast majority of our legislators--both Democrat and Republican--are so corrupted by money in the political system that they care far more for so-called defense contractors, Big Oil, and Big Pharma than they do for any of their non-wealthy constituents.
Basically, this is what my tax dollars are doing:
1) making the U.S. more hated around the world;
2) lining the pockets of the already rich;
3) giving more and more power to corporations;
4) making the average American poorer;
5) making Americans dumber;
6) creating a police state that imprisons the people who footed the bill; and
7) making the world less safe, less harmonious, more polluted, more dysfunctional.
I'm sure I'm missing a few things, but that's enough for now.
And to counteract this evil, yes, that's the word, each person needs to go out into the world knowing to her very core that the people of this world are more powerful than the elite who seem to have the upper hand. The people are waking up, and slowly but surely the smoke screen that Americans have been living under is being lifted. More and more average Joes are coming to know the truth about their government. And it isn't pretty.
I look forward to the day when my tax dollars will go for life-affirming, health-giving, hope-inspiring, people-empowering projects.
P.S. The three photos shown in this post are from my 2005 three-month solo camping trip across the country. These particular shots are from Arizona and New Mexico.
We're the biggest war economy in the history of the planet. It is such a travesty that my tax dollars are spent on killing Iraqi, Afghan, Pakistani, Palestinian, and Libyan civilians. Actually, why stop with civilians--I we don't have any business killing anyone.
How wonderful it would be to live in a country that had no military at all, or a very small one. Then the tax money could be spent on creating the best education and healthcare systems in the world, complete with rigorous foreign language, art, music, science, math, and literature programs for all and with acupuncture, massage, and herbal medicine thrown in with conventional treatment. How marvelous if money were going to support the work of artists, dancers, poets, novelists, craftspeople, scientists, and visionaries. Wouldn't it be grand to have hefty budgets for our national parks, for wildlife studies and conservation, and for programs to bring children into contact with nature?
What an amazing country this would be if our government put people first, not corporations. The vast majority of our legislators--both Democrat and Republican--are so corrupted by money in the political system that they care far more for so-called defense contractors, Big Oil, and Big Pharma than they do for any of their non-wealthy constituents.
Basically, this is what my tax dollars are doing:
1) making the U.S. more hated around the world;
2) lining the pockets of the already rich;
3) giving more and more power to corporations;
4) making the average American poorer;
5) making Americans dumber;
6) creating a police state that imprisons the people who footed the bill; and
7) making the world less safe, less harmonious, more polluted, more dysfunctional.
I'm sure I'm missing a few things, but that's enough for now.
And to counteract this evil, yes, that's the word, each person needs to go out into the world knowing to her very core that the people of this world are more powerful than the elite who seem to have the upper hand. The people are waking up, and slowly but surely the smoke screen that Americans have been living under is being lifted. More and more average Joes are coming to know the truth about their government. And it isn't pretty.P.S. The three photos shown in this post are from my 2005 three-month solo camping trip across the country. These particular shots are from Arizona and New Mexico.
Saturday, April 09, 2011
Internet on the Fritz
Ever since I disconnected my Internet service and land line from Verizon, my neighbors' Internet connection has been down. So for the last week I have been plugging into the library's or a coffeehouse's connection. That's why I have not posted much lately. Hopefully, tomorrow my neighbors will get their Internet connection restored and we'll all be back in business.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
The End of my IRS Saga
Those of you who have been reading my blog for at least the past four months know that the IRS sent me a bill for $18,419 in back taxes and penalties acrued on my mother's 2008 return.
As stated in my previous post, I was not disturbed, as I had just received the gift of life--a new kidney. Anything else was unimportant. I was alive, and at least as of this writing, the IRS is not allowed to take taxpayers' organs in payment. This matter would either be resolved or I'd pay the debt little by little for the rest of my days.
A careful review of my records showed that the IRS had made a mistake. I sent a rebuttal to the appropriate authorities. After 10 weeks, the IRS responded with a reduced demand: $363. This didn't seem right either, so I looked harder at the records and asked an accountant for her opinion. Turns out I only owe $6. No sense fighting that, so I sent a check off on Sunday.
To think of the manpower involved in getting this $6 from me. I'm sure that the IRS spent at least 20 hours in this pursuit. At, let's say, $50/hour, when one includes the government worker's benefits and the contribution to her retirement, that brings the government's cost to $1,000.
The IRS's personnel should be rather tasked with going after the big offenders--large corporations that currently pay nothing in taxes and even get enormous tax credits. GE, General Electric, is a prime example. The largest corporation in the U.S., which posted $14.2 billion in profits last year, not only paid no taxes but claimed a $3.2 billion tax credit. Surely, an outfit like that should receive the scrutiny of at least a few IRS auditors. But no. Only the small fry, the common man and woman, are under the gun at the IRS.
To make the situation even more ludicrous, House Republicans would like to cut $600 million from the IRS's budget. This is ironic for a party that is interested in deficit reduction, as every dollar that the IRS spends, it reaps $10 in retrieved tax money. Even the conservative Fox News reports this data.
Of course, like everyone else in this country, and I'm sure everyone else throughout history in every country, I am not fond of the tax man. I truly hate supporting war, violence, and the suppression of democracy throughout the world with my tax dollars.
I wish that each citizen could fill out a form on his or her tax return as to how his or her taxes should be spent. I'd give mine to things like the national parks, the arts, and the care of the less fortunate. I wouldn't give a penny of my money to so-called defense, so-called intelligence, or so-called security. Now other citizens might decide they didn't give a hoot for the national park system or for the arts, but they were gung-ho for the military and the CIA. Those folks could vote their taxes that way. This would be true democracy. A line-item veto of those programs you deemed worthless or immoral, and a line-item endorsement of those programs you deemed worthwhile and life-affirming. That would certainly show the government what the citizens thought of our so-called leaders' priorities.
But if anyone should pay taxes it's the corporations and the super-rich who own the corporations. They have benefitted the most from what the government has provided--public education so that workers are prepared to toil in their businesses, and roads and bridges and the rest of the infrastructure that gets their goods to market, and military operations to keep corporation-friendly dictators in power, to name a few. Why the Average Joe and Average Mary should foot the bill when so many of the wealthy get off scot-free is a question that is surely being asked more and more often these days. A question that if sufficiently inflamed could transform society.
As stated in my previous post, I was not disturbed, as I had just received the gift of life--a new kidney. Anything else was unimportant. I was alive, and at least as of this writing, the IRS is not allowed to take taxpayers' organs in payment. This matter would either be resolved or I'd pay the debt little by little for the rest of my days.
A careful review of my records showed that the IRS had made a mistake. I sent a rebuttal to the appropriate authorities. After 10 weeks, the IRS responded with a reduced demand: $363. This didn't seem right either, so I looked harder at the records and asked an accountant for her opinion. Turns out I only owe $6. No sense fighting that, so I sent a check off on Sunday.
To think of the manpower involved in getting this $6 from me. I'm sure that the IRS spent at least 20 hours in this pursuit. At, let's say, $50/hour, when one includes the government worker's benefits and the contribution to her retirement, that brings the government's cost to $1,000.
The IRS's personnel should be rather tasked with going after the big offenders--large corporations that currently pay nothing in taxes and even get enormous tax credits. GE, General Electric, is a prime example. The largest corporation in the U.S., which posted $14.2 billion in profits last year, not only paid no taxes but claimed a $3.2 billion tax credit. Surely, an outfit like that should receive the scrutiny of at least a few IRS auditors. But no. Only the small fry, the common man and woman, are under the gun at the IRS.
To make the situation even more ludicrous, House Republicans would like to cut $600 million from the IRS's budget. This is ironic for a party that is interested in deficit reduction, as every dollar that the IRS spends, it reaps $10 in retrieved tax money. Even the conservative Fox News reports this data.
Of course, like everyone else in this country, and I'm sure everyone else throughout history in every country, I am not fond of the tax man. I truly hate supporting war, violence, and the suppression of democracy throughout the world with my tax dollars.
I wish that each citizen could fill out a form on his or her tax return as to how his or her taxes should be spent. I'd give mine to things like the national parks, the arts, and the care of the less fortunate. I wouldn't give a penny of my money to so-called defense, so-called intelligence, or so-called security. Now other citizens might decide they didn't give a hoot for the national park system or for the arts, but they were gung-ho for the military and the CIA. Those folks could vote their taxes that way. This would be true democracy. A line-item veto of those programs you deemed worthless or immoral, and a line-item endorsement of those programs you deemed worthwhile and life-affirming. That would certainly show the government what the citizens thought of our so-called leaders' priorities.
But if anyone should pay taxes it's the corporations and the super-rich who own the corporations. They have benefitted the most from what the government has provided--public education so that workers are prepared to toil in their businesses, and roads and bridges and the rest of the infrastructure that gets their goods to market, and military operations to keep corporation-friendly dictators in power, to name a few. Why the Average Joe and Average Mary should foot the bill when so many of the wealthy get off scot-free is a question that is surely being asked more and more often these days. A question that if sufficiently inflamed could transform society.
Friday, April 01, 2011
Some Days I Forget I Had a Transplant
Sure, I still feel the metal rod in my left leg with every step I take, but usually it is not enough to make me stop walking. And, yes, I still feel chest constriction and a sense of heaviness, but I've lived with that for so long that I rarely take note of it unless it becomes egregious.
But in general, I have energy for what I want to do. And of course my attitude is sunny, which helps a great deal.
Here is a photo of me, beaming to beat the sun, taken about a week ago in my kitchen.
My apartment has but one bedroom, so my son sleeps in the carpeted breakfast nook beside the kitchen. You can see his lamp, end table, and bed. And if your eyes are really sharp, you can see three of many gnomes that pepper the apartment. At one time I knew the German word for "gnome." Perhaps it's Schwarge.
I Should Write in German
Many days I see that more Germans have visited my blog than have Americans. Wow, that's pretty darn interesting. And so, for my German friends, I will write a little in German, just for you.
And to those of you who don't read German, you're not missing anything juicy. I'm merely inquiring as to some finer points of grammar.
Guten Tag, meine deutschen Freunden. Ich habe Fragen fuer Sie.
* Eins, mein Worterbuch hat kein "Spuelbecken," nur "Spuele." Was ist das Wort fuer "sink"--Spuelbecken oder Spuel?
* Zwei, warum haben Nummern keine adjectiven Endungen? Zum Beispiel, Mann sagt, "Ich habe rote Haar," aber er sagt nicht, "Ich habe viere Haare." Warum nicht?
* Drei, wann muss Mann ß schrieben und wann muss Mann ss schreiben? Ich habe andere Dinge in anderen Buechern gesehen. Zum Beispiel, warum schriebt Mann "weiß" und "Wasser"? Was ist die Regel?
Danke. Bitte, antworten Sie.
And to those of you who don't read German, you're not missing anything juicy. I'm merely inquiring as to some finer points of grammar.
Guten Tag, meine deutschen Freunden. Ich habe Fragen fuer Sie.
* Eins, mein Worterbuch hat kein "Spuelbecken," nur "Spuele." Was ist das Wort fuer "sink"--Spuelbecken oder Spuel?
* Zwei, warum haben Nummern keine adjectiven Endungen? Zum Beispiel, Mann sagt, "Ich habe rote Haar," aber er sagt nicht, "Ich habe viere Haare." Warum nicht?
* Drei, wann muss Mann ß schrieben und wann muss Mann ss schreiben? Ich habe andere Dinge in anderen Buechern gesehen. Zum Beispiel, warum schriebt Mann "weiß" und "Wasser"? Was ist die Regel?
Danke. Bitte, antworten Sie.
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