People forever talk about standing up for yourself, about asking for what you deserve. The thing is that I always stand up for myself, but there sure must be something more to it than what I'm doing because every time that I have stood up, I have been shot down.
I know many people who tell their bosses they're leaving if they don't get more money and then they are given more money. Or they tell a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse that this is what they need and, if they don't get it, they're leaving and so they get it. I even know of people who say they have to quit their positions because they're moving and their bosses say they can take their job with them. They are standing up for what they want and they get it.
In contrast, I have stood up so many times just in the past couple months, asking for what I deserve, what I've earned, and being told "no" again and again. And not only "no" but "go away." At the magazine. At one university and then at another. After I had signed a contract to work for a German medical company and then the company backed out. On and on, again and again.
So what are these other people doing that I'm not? I just don't get it.
Is the message that I am to leave Southern California at all costs? Am I to sleep in my truck and camp in a Wal-Mart parking lot until I get some work, somewhere? In the last two weeks, I have applied for 35 positions, with not a nibble. Again, I'm asking for what I want. Is anyone listening?
Mystical experiences, yearnings, politics, little dramas, poetry, kidney dialysis, insulin-dependent diabetes, and opportunities for gratitude.
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About Me
- Heidi's heart
- Southern California, United States
- Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.
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1 comment:
I am listening. And I think if you go for the job I told you about, you have a very good chance of getting it.
A lot of the examples you mentioned include ultimatums. I don't think that is the only way to get what you want. And I think a lot of people that don't get what they want are simply not putting it out there for the world to see.
I wanted a lot from my ex. After seven years together, going though a lot together, growing together, loving each other, he is now my ex. We broke up much against my desire, and because I was asking for more than he could give.
I think it is great that you stand up for yourself. It is important to do so. I do it often. I feel it is imperitive, especially for women, to ask for and expect what they deserve. It does not mean there will not be a reaction or a cost.
Hang in there. Try to have some faith that *maybe* something good is on the horizon.
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