Sunday, August 31, 2008

The Secret Life of Bees

I just finished what will most likely be my last book of the summer, unless I start one this evening and polish it off by tomorrow. "The Secret Life of Bees," a novel by Sue Monk Kidd, has been a book I've been meaning to read for quite some time. Boy, did I pick the right time to read it!

It takes place in 1964, the year of so much change in this country, including the Civil Rights Act. Set in South Carolina, it is a beautifully written novel about a 14-year-old white girl who runs away from home and lives with three black sisters in a town two hours away. It is a heartwarming story of a girl's search for her mother and for the mother within, it is about the deep love of a group of women. I cried, thinking of my own dysfunctional relationship with my mother and of my longing for a group of female friends--or even one female friend--who would be close at hand and near to the heart.

Yes, there are people who care about me, who love me, of course there are. That was surely made evident at my birthday party. But when I'm feeling down, there is no one to call and say, "Hey, could you come over. It sure would do me good to see you." Most of the friends who came to my birthday party I had not seen for a year or longer. They aren't the guy or gal next door. Or even if they do live within an hour's drive, they are married or otherwise engaged. Just dropping by without a meeting scheduled weeks or months in advance is something of a fairy tale. By that time, the sadness for sure would have passed, the intense need gone.

I thought of Taffy, the golden retriever-mutt I had as a child. Oh, dear, love-bucket Taffy. I was physically beaten and emotionally tormented by the other children. I didn't have friends. My brother and I often fought. My parents weren't available for talks. But I had Taffy. I remember so clearly, lying with my head on her chest and sobbing. And she would lie there, beaming love, letting my pain soak into her and transforming it into love. Oh, Taffy. How I would love to have such a dog again.

1 comment:

Alexi Holford said...

I loved that book. So beautifully written.

I am sorry to hear of all the pain you suffer as a result of your mother, or lack of one. Having had a father with lots of issue, who was often completely unavailable due to severe depression and other issues, and having had to deal with his struggle with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease) and getting him cared for (often against his will), I sometimes feel I can relate to what you write. I hope you know I empathize, even if I may not be the friend you are looking for.

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About Me

Southern California, United States
Perhaps my friend Mark summed me up best when he called me "a mystical grammarian." I am quite a mix--otherworldly, ethereal and in touch with "the beyond," yet prone to being very precise and logical, when need be. Romantic in the big-canvas meaning of the word, I see the world as an adventure, as a love poem, as a realm of beauty and wonder.

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